Time for my husband

[ljnicklow@yahoo.com]

My husband and i just got out of the military and we moved in with his parents till we could move out on our on. The problem we have a two year old and a 5 month old and after they go to bed we dont get the usually time alone to talk or just relax there is someone always there butting in. how do i deal with nosey in laws who technically dont go away and by the way my mother in law is crazy so i can't really confront her with out bringing up a whole bunch of nastyness what do i do

[ra11en]

While you are living in their house, I think your only option is to be respectful and work to get out of there as soon as possible. While you should be able to discuss your needs with them (getting time to yourselves, them minding their own business....etc), I doubt that will happen based on your post.

Bite your tongue so as to not agitate the situation more - remember, the babies are effected by negative infighting, so take the high road for their sake. Trying to resolve 'a bunch of nastiness' is not what's best for the kiddos, and that what's most important.

Any chance of getting the little ones off to bed, then you and your husband getting out for a few hours? If they are good sleepers, not like you would be asking a big favor from the in laws to just listen for them, you know? Even if it is just an hour at a park late a night, at least you would get time alone together.

Just my $0.02.

[Mommy22]

While I don't live with my in-laws...because I couldn't if I had to...I can understand your situation and the best advice I can give you is- let him do the talking. Momma-in-laws seem to have it out for the wife for whatever reason they believe we corrupted their innocent boys- so let the innocent boy explain to his family how grateful you both are for being able to stay with them while you try to get reestablished and during this time, while room is tight, it is still important for parents to talk and be alone. Ask that Momma respects this, no callers after 8:30
(?- set your own time) and maybe one night a week have a game/movie night or just chat with them as a way to thank them for giving you a chance to reconnect after his service to the country....and if she can't do that...move:)

[WilliamnJacksmom]

I was actually in your situation when my first child was born. I lived in a double wide mobile home with 5 other people besides my husband, my child and myself. I do want to tell you, do not let your relationship suffer. Find ways to be together. i almost lost my marriage because we allowed them to get between us for a bit. They were my family and I feel that I should have spoke up, however for a lot of reasons, I didn't. I regret that, though it wouldn't have made anything better. Try and make the situation as good as possible and work like hell to get out of there. We have been out on our own again for almost two years now and are doing great. Hang in there, it is tough, but do what you have to do to keep your sanity.