View Full Version : Mom Debate: Would You Choose the Sex?
Jessica at Parenting.com
09-30-2008, 03:22 PM
The editors at Parenting want to know:
If you had the option, would you choose the sex of your unborn child?
Reply to this message and let us know why you would or wouldn't make the choice.
10-01-2008, 09:39 AM
No, I'm pregnant with number 1 (a girl) but when I first became pregnant it never mattered to me whether it was a boy or girl. I can see the fun with each and pictured fairy tales and tea parties with my girl or a little clone of my hubby with his action figures.
My hubby and I also have a strong faith in God so we believe that our baby was chosen for us so why mess with what is meant to be.
10-01-2008, 11:32 AM
I sure would choose the sex of my baby. If I were to have another, I want it to be a boy.
10-01-2008, 12:05 PM
Charliesmommy, I was thinking about a woman I met yesterday, she has four boys and is pregnant with a girl now. (I bet she would have picked that girl given the chance) LOL. With that house full of testosterone! :-)
I definitely would, but only because I already have my very "macho" son who is so completely different from the 2 sisters and mellow, laid back brother I grew up with. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much, car crashes, jumping off couches, and laughing at farts and all. I wouldn't trade the experiences we've had together for the world. But...a little part of me longs for pink dresses, dance class, and someone to do pedicures with. So, if we are lucky enough to have child #2 you bet I will be wishing for a girl.
10-01-2008, 07:25 PM
I don't think so- it just doesn't seem right. There's a reason for having the baby that you have.
10-02-2008, 11:08 PM
No, I don't think that I would try to choose the gender of my baby...but my hubby would, 100%!!! He is a STAUNCH believer that we should have a boy first...no questions asked LOL :)
10-03-2008, 11:38 AM
No, not knowing the sex of the baby is awesome! It was like surprise they day we had the ultrasound that said it if it was a boy or a girl!
However I would probably change my mind if I had 3 boys and REALLY wanted that girl, but would be afraid to try for #4 lest it be another BOY!
Every mommy deserves her girl and every daddy his boy!
10-05-2008, 09:36 AM
I would! I'm afraid if I just "keep trying" to have the boy I've always wanted, I'll end up with, like, seven girls and still no boy!
10-06-2008, 07:28 AM
No, I would never choose the sex of an unborn child. I believe that God gives us the children we are supposed to have, and I have no desire to second guess Him.
10-06-2008, 09:53 AM
I don't know about the sex- but I would like to ensure there's only one! I am petrified to have another set of twins.
The quandary I have with picking the sex is that I don't really know what I want. I've got two girls- so a boy would mix things up. But I really like raising girls!
10-06-2008, 05:12 PM
When I was growing up I always said I wanted 2 boys, which is what I have, and they are ALL BOY. Crashing toy cars, jumping off the furniture, and running wild.
I don't know if I would pick if I had the chance, a girl would be nice, but I know what to expect with boys and mine are turning out OK.
10-07-2008, 01:56 AM
I know I want at least one girl before I stop having children (I have one boy now) But I would NOT want to choose that. It's not up to me. I will be just as thrilled if I have a boy next. Come what may. I love boys and girls!
10-10-2008, 01:25 AM
In my case i would definetly choose the sex. I think somewhere along the line my ancestors must have placed a curse to have only women in my family. I have one blood sister, three half-sisters, one stepsister and my stepmother is pregnant with a girl. My sister had a babygirl, she's 8 months now. Also i am pregnant and at five months the doctor said 100% its a girl. she showed her privates. So given the choice i would choose a boy just to break cycle also i'm curious what it's like to raise a son.
On the other hand, i am told boys are a handful so maybe for right now a girl is best for me being a first time mom n all. Still it would be nice to have a man in my generation.
10-13-2008, 04:09 PM
Honestly, being able to chose the sex of a child is tempting, especially when I know that I have my own hidden agendas, but I believe that there is more to this world than me and my selfish desires. I believe that children are a gift and whether you believe in a higher power or not, we are given children. So I will take what the "Universe" gives me. That is not to say that I won't say a few hundred prayers next time there is a bun in the oven.
10-18-2008, 08:58 PM
Oh, my goodness NO. It is a blessing to have either sex. I was ecstatic when I found out that I was having twin boys. I thought it was a boy and a girl, but God gave me two beautiful boys instead.
10-19-2008, 07:20 PM
My husband and I are Christian, therefore we believe that any baby, whether it's a boy or girl, is a gift from God. I had my baby girl just a month in a half ago, and the only reason that my husband and I decided to find out if we were going to have a boy or girl was because he would be deploying to Iraq and he wouldn't be here for the birth. Otherwise we would've wanted it to be a surprise.
10-20-2008, 07:52 PM
I am not sure I would choose. While I always wanted boys, I got only one and two girls. I love all of my babies. I think it is part of God's grand design. Only he knows how the world is balanced as far as boys and girls go, and only he can keep the balance.
10-20-2008, 09:21 PM
No, to me this always seems like such a bizarre question. I went through 3 IUI and 3 IVF cycles before becoming pregnant with my son. When someone would ask me this question I would smile and say, “I just want a baby, I don’t care what it is!”
10-21-2008, 03:38 AM
yes, i have two daughters and being able to choose to have a boy would really make my husband happy.
10-21-2008, 12:15 PM
I think that'd be like messing with fate. I think it'd be ok to pray for the one you'd prefer though!
10-21-2008, 12:54 PM
No way!! When we wanted a boy we were given a perfect baby girl and when we wanted another girl we were given a perfect baby boy. I wouldn't change them for the world. Who really knows what they want anyways. Every baby is different and you love them no matter what their sex.
10-21-2008, 01:50 PM
I wouldn't. By manufacturing unborn children we are missing out on some beautiful life gifts.
10-21-2008, 06:29 PM
No, don't mess with science like that. We are meant to have what we have.
10-22-2008, 02:17 AM
I absolutely would...and I am! My husband and I are going to conceive our first child through IVF and use the PGD system to choose the gender of our child...we want a girl! I believe the effectiveness is 99.9% so let's hope that we get our little girl!
10-22-2008, 11:39 AM
I would now. I have 2 wonderful girls but for my next pregnancy I would really love to have a boy.
10-22-2008, 12:30 PM
Of course I would choose the sex if given the chance. I have 3 boys and statistics say we'll continue on that route.
I'm not ordering the color hair, eyes, and personality.
I just want to buy some pink clothes for a daughter like half the moms out there.
That's been my dream since childhood.
10-22-2008, 12:55 PM
Absolutely! Since I was very young I knew I wanted to have just one little girl. My husband and I are extreamly responsible individuals and believe that having one child will enable us to provide the very best for her. We waited and planned for our child. I used the book "how to determine the sex of your baby" and followed it to a T. Low and behold we got the beautiful, healthy baby girl I had always dreamed of. I think it would easier to plan and be responsible if we could choose and determine the sex of our children. I have a friend that has 3 boys because she keeps 'trying' for a girl. She can barely afford the expense of her children due to wanting a little girl. So yes, bring on the choice! :)
10-22-2008, 07:59 PM
I wouldn't. I always thought I was a "girls" mom (before I had a child). I gave birth to a boy and couldnt imagine it any other way now. I am a boys mom, and I am glad I didnt have a choice.
10-23-2008, 05:06 AM
to me, its not too important to choose. both are best. like my lovely daughters.
10-23-2008, 09:48 AM
Yes, I have identical twin girls and if I was to have another (hopefully it would just be a singleton ha) I would want to have a son. I would want someone to carry on his family name and I'd like to dance with someone at their wedding!
baby carling 08
10-23-2008, 10:03 AM
I would next time I got pregnant. I have a 3yo son, and am pregnant with my second boy. I really want a little girl, but I don't think that I could survive with my sanity intact having 3 boys and my husband.
10-24-2008, 07:44 PM
No, I have adopted both of my children. A girl and a boy. I left as much as I could up to nature. And I will be happy with whatever I am blessed with in the future.
10-27-2008, 01:40 PM
No, gender does not matter to me. I always thought growing up that it would be great to have one or the other. But once I got pregnant all of those thoughts went out the window. I was blessed to have a little girl and I am happy I had one. If I get pregnant again, I will be estactic to have either a boy or a girl. As long as the baby is healthy and happy, that is truely what matters, not gender.
10-30-2008, 01:49 AM
i was the girl that always wanted boys....i now have 3 year old and 3 month old baby girls .....i love them to pieces and would never give them up. I am so happy i have them BUT next time we try we are choosing the sex. I did not like being pregnant and i am hoping i can do 2 boys and be done.
I love my daughters and cant imagine life without them but to feel like i have my complete family i would like to have a least one boy. I am scared to try for a 3rd without knowing for sure it will be a boy. So i have told my husband that next time we will be choosing the sex. I dont think he has a problem with me wanting that.
10-30-2008, 10:33 AM
I changed my mind! I said earlier I would not choose but it has been a couple of weeks and after thinking about it I would. I would choose to have a girl. I already have one boy and that way if I decide not to have any more I have my girl. I have just realized in the past month how much I really did hate being pregnant, thanks to certain threads in the forum. :)
I don't know if I could do it more than twice. I'm not even sure if I can do it twice. The only thing I know is I at least want one more. So a girl!
10-30-2008, 10:58 AM
I think its ok to try "natural home remedies" for gender selection. Like the chinese gender chart or eating certain foods all of those things - because none are guaranteed. I don't know if I would want a scientist manipulating zygotes for the gender I want - besides I wanted a Girl so bad - couldnt imagine my life without one until the ultrasound when they told me it was a girl. You would think I would be happy and all I could think was Oh ... I want a boy! So we are never truly happy and if I could "pick" .... goodness I can't even "pick" the babies name. I wish it was a boy so it could be a junior and we could be done with it already. :)
I mean they want me to schedule to be induced later in my pregnancy so that I can go off of my medicine properly in preperation for the birth - and I'm like ... what? I can't "pick" her birthday ... its unnatural!
10-30-2008, 11:07 AM
Ps I agree with the people who have had multiple though. You should be able to Guarantee that won't happen again ( if you don't want it to) without aborting any fetuses. Cause who could do that. " ... Uh I don't want twins so we'll take ... uh that one!" Nope. You ladies should be able to take a pill or something that guarantees you will only have one egg - or some type of control. I watched a program the other day in which a family had a toddler then when they were trying to give her a sibling they had quads, then they figured it took them so long to concieve the quads that since they wanted more children they wouldn't be on any birth control and just see when it would happen again. 5 months later!!!!!! QUADS AGAIN!!!! Naturally - no fertility treatments! They lost one at birth but still could you imagine 8 children under 4, 7 of them under 18 months!
... and I mean what could they do when they found out it was 4 again - it's not like they would "weed them out" they were their children too. But they should have been able to control it alittle more. Now they are stressed to the max and poverty level ... of course! Who wouldn't be with that many infants!
God bless you women with multiples!
10-30-2008, 12:09 PM
Call it fate, faith, etc. Take what you get and be happy with it. Maybe God gives you a girl because that is what you need in your life. We have 2 girls and they have "grounded" their Dad in so many ways...ways you cannot describe, but things a realtionship with a boy could never do. Remember....when you both are really old....a girl will take care of you more then a boy, they are naturally more nurturing.
10-30-2008, 01:48 PM
At the moment My DH and I have 2 beautiful little boys that are 5yrs and 6 mos. I would not change them for the world. I did cry though when I found out my 2nd was a boy. Not because I was disappointed, but because I thought I would never get the chance for the daughter I have always wanted. My DH was very adamant about not wanting anymore children, and I grieved for that dream. He has since decided to leave the option for a third child open. I would stand on my head and sing yankee doodle if it would ensure a girl, but I would not chose the gender of a baby. That is a decision best left to God. Besides, even if I don't have a girl later on; it would be pretty cool to have 3 sons.
11-02-2008, 11:39 PM
Yes, I would. There are disorders out there which only effect certain sexes. I wouldn't want to have my child growing up with a disorder I could have prevented if I had chosen the sex.
11-05-2008, 09:32 PM
If you would have asked me this question before kids, I would have said "yes". Now that I have 3 boys and am finished having kids, I know why God gave me 3 boys. I would have loved to have had a girl instead of the 2nd or 3rd boy, but I really think that I wasn't cut out to raise girls. My personality is better for raising boys. I think girls would drive me nuts.
11-11-2008, 12:50 PM
I would pick the sex of the baby. Because I two boys and pregant with the third one and it's another boy. so if I could I would have picked this one, I think if I was to have another one it would be another boy. but I' happy that god blessed me with a boy. Don't really matter what you get, as long as the baby is health.
11-18-2008, 09:45 AM
No I would not choose the sex of my child...... That is playing God in my opinion! Let there be a little mystery to it-you find out usually within the second Trimester what gender of child you will have! Either way, the child is still a child! Not an animal or something!!! You cannot take it back if you didn't get the gender you were hoping for! Just love that child! It shouldn't matter the gender!We have 4 children and it just ended up that we have 2 boys and 2 girls! All I wanted were healthy babies-and I got that! I am one of the fortunate ones in that area!!
11-18-2008, 11:05 AM
I'd definitely choose the sex of my child! Maybe this wouldn't be acceptable for your 1st child, but after 2 boys, I'd like my 3rd to be a girl. Don't get me wrong--I adore my 2 wonderful boys. I lost my mom when I was 21, and I really miss the mother-daughter relationship.
11-20-2008, 03:08 PM
I wanted a boy really bad when I found out I was pregnant. but i would have greatfully taken either!!! a baby is precious no matter what the sex is...
11-23-2008, 03:01 PM
I have been pregnant 3 times and loved not knowing the sex of the baby. My three boys are great, but if we were to get pregnant again...I want a girl!
Mom to Sam, Josh, and Zeke
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