My son doesnt listen to his mom

[pharmer28]

Hey guy whats up, My name is chris, any advice, my son who will be 6 in Oct doesnt listen to his mother at all. When im around he is well behaved, but when im not, the horns come out. any advice?

[DavidHood]

How does she treat him differently than you?

I'm guessing that she gives in to his demands more than you do. There are no consequences when he does not listen to her -- except when you are around. She probably needs to stick to her guns and enforce discipline better when you are not around.

-David

[diaperdad]

I am going to put a slight twist on what David said. Your son probably feels more comfortable and connected to his mom, as a result he feels safer testing his limits. If she is not holding limits with your son then that would be part of the problem.

At his age, your son is well aware of behavior. Check your own interactions with your wife to make sure your son isn't mimicking behaviors he sees in you.

[LisaGreene]

I agree with diaperdad. Your son is fully aware about what he can get away with depending on which parent is present. I think it's typical for a child to react quicker to the male parent because the female tends to be softer and quieter. Mom needs to be consistent and provide immediate consequences for negative behavior - every time. When the child learns that every time he does X, then consequence X happens, he'll start behaving no matter which parent he's with. Be aware, the behavior will get much worse when you start imposing limits, but it won't last long.

[bracacia]

the previous posts are correct.

and as well, lisa is very correct.

my 2.7 yo boy doesnt listen to his mom either.
it is because of her lack of discipline. they can be at the store, and mom can be on the phone with me, and all I ever hear is bray crying, or screaming. he loves to throw those temper tantrums.
he tries to push the limits sometimes, but only if she is here. and I mean, all she has to do is be here. she can be in bed asleep, and he will act differently.
I am off on the weekends, so I have the kids all weekend long to myself.
my boy is 90% awesome. if he gets out of hand, all I have to do is say "go to time out" and he runs to his time-out spot......of course crying the whole time. I let him cry it out for about a minute, then I tell
him, "dude,thats enough and you need to stop" and about 30 seconds later, no more crying. he just sits there. and after a minute or 2, I tell him he can get up.

now, if mom tells him to go to time out, he says "no?l" and sits in his elmo chair. then she yells at him, and he cries, she yells.......and I say "time out now" and off he goes.

but to re-inforce something else stated, as parents, myself and the mother do not have the greatest relationship. he does get to see myself treat her a particular way. and there are little things that he does, which mimic what I do.
im not abusive, but there are just little things that I dont do.

like when mom tells me, "love you honey" and all I say is mmm hmmm, yup, he started doing that.
when she goes to kiss me, I turn my head so she kisses my cheek, yup, he started doing that too.

he has actually stopped doing those things, and does say "love you mommy" but the whole kissing thing is a 50/50 toss up. it depends on who puts him to bed.
if I put him down for ni-ni time, chances are, she isnt getting a kiss. but if she puts him down for ni-ni, she gets the kiss and the "love you mommy" but he does say it more prodominatly to me than her.