07-26-2011, 10:13 AM
I have a 1 year old baby girl who is the greatest thing in my life since i met my wife 14 years ago. For the past year, we have been doing so well raising her and enjoying all the new things she's starting to do. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been ALL fun & games but my Wife & I have always worked well together. Normally I can always seem to hold things together and not show fustration. Long story short, my Wife went to the gym last night and i stayed home and had dinner with our little girl. It was only an hour but everything just seemed to be going wrong and I allowed myself to get flustered and aggravated, so after I got her to calm down and eat some blueberries cut in half I decided to step away to calm down. Unfortunately I stepped away by going outside (although still in sight, bad things could of happened) and taking a few puffs of a cigar. My Wife does know I stepped out (we talked about it)but I can't seem to wonder, doesn't this make me a bad parent? I've spent the past 13 months never letting go of her, family members get upset with me because I won't ever let go of her and when i do, their time is limited and then shes back to daddy. I just can't believe i did such a foolish thing like leaving her in her hieghchair while i went outside to cool down. Even for 3-4 minutes, it's still wrong, right? Does this make me a bad dad as well as a bad parent? How do you ever make up for this? How do you live with yourself knowing you put your own child at risk.