Evil Aunt (husband's sister)

[ehart1104]

This past weekend my husband's 26 year old sister (whom of which I rarely get along with, but we're civil) while in a conversation about my best friend's tomboy daughter ... said that my 3 year old son was a "wussy." My immediate and continued reaction is one of shear anger, intolerance and ... sorry I'm having a hard time thinking clearly and finding a better word for "pissivity." LOL. At any rate, she is 26, has never been comfortable with kids - let alone have any. But what does she expect? I am trying to raise my son to be loving, kind and affectionate, while not stunting his abilities to be able to defend himself when need be.
I don't know what to do! My husband has and will always take her side (it's a really weird relationship) so when I tell him about this incident all he says is "do your best to make amends with her." WHAT? How am I the bad guy in this scenario?
I am in need of so much guidance. I don't think I'll be able to let this roll off my back (this isn't the first time she has felt entitled to show her ignorance.). PLEASE HELP ME!

[cay8099]

First off why is your husband not ticked that his sister called his son a wuss? With that being said you should not have to play nice with her. He either needs to have a serious talk with her or accept your decision to steer clear of her poisonous personality.

[scojo100]

Husband just wants to avoid conflict and wants you two to get along. He's a guy so no surprise there. That's what we do. That being said, you and hubby are going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Cleanse you psyche by forgiving her this time. That alone will give you the power back. Next time it happens, don't snap at her but do pull her aside and tell her how you feel. She will probably get defensive and go behind your back to tattle on you with your husband but you need to stand your ground and she will respect you for it even if she never says it. Be prepared that she may not like you much and never will but she will respect you as a mom if you stand up for your child. Good luck.

[cay8099]

He needs to grow a pair and talk with his sister. He has talks with his family, and she has talks with her family. It's not her job to make his sister respect her. It's his job to make his sister respect his wife by showing sister that he has respect for his wife.

[lismom2]

"Please do not call my child (insert offending word here)", Pass the bean dip. You don't have to explain your position, and clearly, your SIL isn't open to listening anyway.

[ehart1104]

Thanks everyone for responding. I agree with most of what you're saying. I want to keep the peace, just because it's easier, but as far as my son is concerned I'm like the accountability police and want to make sure she's punished for talking nonsense about my son.
As far as my husband goes, he thinks his sister can do no wrong. Remember I said (they have a weird relationship anyway)?It's always been freaky odd, they call it "being close." OK ...

[APEMBERTON]

First off I can't believe any self respecting man would be okay with someone calling their son a wussy. My husband would flip, regardless of who said it.

Second, I can kind of relate of the family thing. My husband is very close to his family(although not as close as you speak), so I know what a battle it can be.

I am all about keeping the peace though, so I would personally would try to ignore her & be as civil as possible without actually interacting with her. By no means would I apologize (& obviously she is not going to) but I would try to pretend it didn't happen & move on. I would say the least I had to around her/to her. Try to keep the conversation light so nothing too personal or hurtful gets said. Basically it sounds like you are going to have to take the high road.
There are a few family members in my family & my husbands that I would rather not speak to, but they are family & for everyone esle's sake I try to keep the peace.