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taporsleep
11-14-2010, 02:28 AM
I'm a divorced father of 3 and a step father of 1. My ex-wife and I got divorced @ 3 years ago. She was in 2 relationships over the next year that went badly for everybody involved. The second relationship produced a little boy March 15, 2009. We decided in June of 2009 to 'give it another try'. We now all live together on Long Island. I've just been told that 'she's done with me'. Our situation is different in that I work nights, she works days. The family 'vibe' is a very good one, with the 3 older kids doing well in school, and we get along as friends. We give each other time out of the house 2-3 times a month, with the only rule being nothing that takes place outside the house touches the family. It's going well, and most likely could for years to come as far as my ex is concerned. Here's the thing: the little man has yet to call me dad, and his long-term memory is not an issue, yet. I really don't think it's fair to him for me to stay past June (when school is done for the older 3)and continue to raise him as my own son when the realistic life span of our 'alternative' lifestyle is not likely to last longer than 2-3 more years. I feel having our relationship come to an end at that point in the future would be far more confusing and stressful for him than it would need to be. Please chime in with any advice to stop my world from spinning so fast.

cay8099
11-14-2010, 09:31 AM
Have you talked to your ex-wife about this? My suggestion would be to talk to her. If your living in the house like this I'm guessing here that your split was on the amicable side. If you are raising this boy as your son tell her straight up if you want to continue raising him as yours. The biological father is clearly not in the picture, and for all intents and purposes you are his father.