When to tell Ex about wedding?

[kstennes]

I've been separated from my ex for three years, our child is now three years old. Since then, I've met someone and we recently got engaged. We're planning a short engagement (second wedding for each, we want little fanfare). I've told my child's father I'm planning to be married, but not the wedding date. He should know when I get married, after all there will be a new man in our child's life.
My question is, how much time is appropriate prior to the big day? Or, should I wait until after the wedding to tell him? I imagine this will be a blow, I just want to do the least evasive thing. Thanks for your thoughts or experiences!

[Newmom!]

I don't have any experience in this area. But if he already knows you are engaged it shouldn't be too much of a blow. Maybe you and new hubby can plan a short honeymoon and your child can spend the time with dad. Then you can simply bring that up (really early so dad has time to plan to have a kid for extra time). Then your ex is told but gets a little bonus out of it (more time with his child). I don't know, just a thought.