Tips on getting my children to listen?

[TedMarnell]

Hi there :)

I love my children (3 and 5 years old), but as an single parent i sometime find it very difficult to make my children listen to me.. :)

I would really appreciate if anyone could share their best "tips and tricks" to get my lovely children to listen to me...

Best regards,
Ted :)

[TedMarnell]

Thank you so much, Caren! I will try this timeout and check out the book :)

If anone else has any other tips and tricks for me, I will be very glad to hear about them.

[mum2mum]

hi ted, yeah, its tough. most parents 'parent' our kids by logic or even by the way we're brought up without seeking professional help or read more to brush up our own parenting skills. but times had changed, more parents seeking good resources to learn parenting so that we can get kids to co-operate and listen. this will lead to a harmonious family.

this is also the reason why i got a book called A Happy Child Guide. I highly recommend it to any parents who wish to sharpen parenting skills. If you wish to lean tips and tricks, this book will help you. Read more at http://www.mumsafari.com/parenting-kids/how-to-stop-misbehavior-effectively

[carriehas5]

Getting kids to listen can be tough! They are impulsive and when they have an idea they jump on it. It's cute how unreasonable their little minds are but it is so frustrating sometimes when we're trying to get them to do something!
Here's the trick that does help. It's one word - consistency. If kids (indeed everyone!) has a CONSISTENT set of expectations and if they CONSISTENTLY know what to expect, they are far more likely to do what we ask/expect of them.
It's simple really. When we have a job outside our home, we do what our boss expects every single time IF we know what he/she expects every single time. If some days our boss wants us to turn in the reports at the AM meeting but some days he doesn't want them until the afternoon meeting, we don't know what to expect and if we're immature and impulsive and unreasonable (as children are supposed to be!) then we will definitely do what is easier every single time. Of course, as an adult we've learned about having good work ethic and earning good work ratings and such so we live and work by those ideas but kids are still young. They still act on what they feel like doing. If we have consistently given them the same ideas about anything (putting their shoes in the same spot every time, feeding the car at the same time every day, saying thank you every time), they catch on and know what to expect. If our expectations vary, say one day we are too tired to bother with putting the shoes in the closet, then our children only learn that SOMETIMES putting the shoes away is right and sometimes it's okay to jut toss them. Who's fault is it if they get the timing wrong? If we only mean what we say (and enforce what we say) some of the time, they don't learn that we mean what we say every single time. If we want them to know that we are serious (about what we tell them to do), we have to be serious....all the time. It's not fair to make them guess when it matters and when it doesn't.
Consistency is the answer. It's certainly not the easy answer! What parent consistently feels like enforcing the "rules"? It's normal to be somewhat inconsistent but if the majority of our children's life is filled with consistency, they are more likely to CONSISTENTLY do what they're asked.
:)
Carrie ~ mom of 5, child development associates, early childhood education and MUCH experience with small kids

[Prica]

While babysitting my cousin long before i was married, I was always frustrated because she wouldn't listen to me. I decided then that that wasn't going to happen with my children.
What I do with my son is when I call his name I have him come to me (I also get down to his eye level), be still (both hands and feet), be quiet (not fussing or complaining), and look me in the eyes (My son shows defiance sometimes by facing me making it look like he is looking directly into my face while his eyes are look to either side, up or down I do not allow this). When I am done speaking I sometimes have him repeat what I say, esp if it is something he doesn't like so I know he knows what I said then have him obey immediately or send him back to what he is doing.
It seems simple and it is most of the time, but for the first three days to a week it takes dilligence and works. I hope this helps.