Work for What?

[EventPlanningMommy]

So after much debate in my house these days, the big question at hand is: Working for What? Sure we want a steady, feasible income so that we can maintain a pretty normal and basic lifestyle- the necessities and an occasional splurge or two...But lately, its been slim pickings, cutting back to the bare minimum because of the precious new addition to our lives: our 2 month-old daughter. I do event planning, but I have to shamefully admit, I haven't thrown myself completely out in the field because I want to find the best childcare possible for my ladybug. But at what cost? How much is too much? And of course, we are willing to pay for the best care possible, but will I be working JUST for childcare expenses? Shouldn't work be about enjoyment-doing something you love and still reaping the benefits? How do I know that the work is worth it if I'm only doing it to pay for time away from my baby girl?

[ewoods]

There are plenty of reasons to send a child to daycare, other than to allow you to go to work. Being a stay-at-home parent is a job all by itself, and a very difficult one too. Many parents are quite successful at it, but many others aren't. I have friend who is a stay-at-home mom and if it wasn't for me bringing my son over once in a while, her son would literally never have any interaction with another child.

My son goes to daycare and he gets quite a bit out of it. He gets to make friends and socialize with other children every day, learning to share and play cooperatively. He gets to go to the gym and play every single day. He gets to go for a walk to the park every single day. Every week there's a new theme where they learn new songs and read new books and get new toys to play with. They have activity and skill-development centers that I could never provide for him without adding a few new rooms to my house. In other words, it's more than just someone watching him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. It's more like a school where he gets to have fun and have access to resources I couldn't provide for him.

Could you find playgroups for your child and commit to taking her on a regular basis? Could you commit to daily outdoor activities and finding a large in-door play area when the weather is bad? Do you have the resources to provide her with new activities all the time, including space in your home for arts and crafts and sensory buckets and play tunnels, etc? She may only be 2 months old now, but they grow up fast. If you can provide these things for her, then by all means, stay home with her. If not, she might actually be better off in a daycare.

[Newmom!]

If your really truly enjoy working and will be miserable not working, then go for it. Your own sanity is worth it. On the other hand, if you don't have to work just yet, then take a few months (or more) to stay at home and spend time with your baby.

I always thought I'd be a working mom, but I was able to take a year leave and stay home with my baby. Now I am back at work. I am very happy I was able to stay home the first year.

I think e-woods has a lot of great points, except I don't think they apply at quite the young age (one theory is that infants and young toddlers are not really meant to be social with other children - they are "designed" to be social with caregivers :-). Also, great infant care is hard to find. My toddler goes to a great childcare, but I would have never sent him there as an infant, nor would I any other place I looked at. (I'm really picky). It sounds like you can be a bit flexible in when you go back to work, so if I were you I would consider staying home a little longer before really getting out there.

Whatever decision you make, make sure you and your family are happy with it. If not then make the needed changes as best you can.

[Zack_Jenn]

If you are working just to send your child to daycare DON'T DO IT! Everyone will try to tell you that your child is better off if they can be 'social' but trust me they grow up WAY TOO FAST to spend that much precious time away from them. Your time is the greatest thing you can give them. If you NEED/HAVE to work that's a whole different matter.

My degree had emphasis in Marriage & Family Studies and Elementary Education and statistics show kids are not better off if they go to daycare/preschool unless you are not meeting their very basic needs. Children who went to preschool may be ahead of the class in kindergarten and some into first grade, but by 2nd grade almost all the children will even out in areas of achievement. And some children who attended daycare/preschool will actually drop behind because they find school boring.

Your child needs you more than she needs anything else! Being a stay-at-home mom is difficult and you may have to sacrifice to be able to stay home with her, but the memories are worth any cost. (I have 3, 3 year old daughter, 2 year old son,& 8 month old son)

[EventPlanningMommy]

Thanks for alll the feedback. I truly appreciate all the different views. Sure, I don't have a ton of things to make it worth her while to stay home... But I have alot of love and attention to provide for her that won't cost a entire paycheck to give.

[MrsBurke]

That is right being with your daughter specially during those crucial years in a her life is more important than any amount of money.

[Newmom!]

You have much more than nothing to give, any and everything you do with baby is a learning experience for baby, even diaper changes :-).
Check out this website, it may give you some ideas on what to do with your baby. I really like the philosophy, although I don't follow it ridgely, just do what come naturally with the philosophy in the back of my mind. Happy reading and Happy mothering.
http://www.rie.org/
http://www.janetlansbury.com/