8-Year-Old Girl, Privacy Concerns?

[Eldermist]

Hi,

I'm a dad of an eight-year-old girl. Her mom and I separated over a year-and-a-half ago. I only see her every other weekend plus two nights a week.

My daughter told me tonight that she needs her privacy when changing and taking baths. She told me she had a talk with her mom and now that she is changing she needs her privacy. And she told me no more baths, only showers.

I was very hurt by this. My wife has been very litigious in this divorce and the Guardian Ad Litem has had to speak with our attorneys in the past for her poor judgement and behavior regarding my visitation with my daughter.

I've given my daughter baths her entire life and her nude body has never been a problem. But this has somehow changed in a week's time.

My question is, is this a normal development for an eight-year-old girl, or should I be concerned that my wife is interfering with how my daughter really feels?

Thanks for any help,

C

[Girlology]

Hi C,
This time, it may just be your daughter. The news is out that puberty is sneaking in earlier for today's girls - as young as 7 for some. And with that, comes the desire for privacy along with all sorts of other changes--both physical and emotional. Even though your daughter may not show outward signs of puberty, it's very normal at her age to become more modest and request privacy when dressing and bathing--and sometimes, just because.
The best thing a Dad can do is to honor her development and maturity and be open to talking about it with her. Let her know that you recognize she is growing up, but that you are still her Daddy and will always love her, even when she doesn't want you in her space.
You can also check out our website (www.girlology.com) and our newest book about puberty and growing up for girls ages 8-12 called There's Something New About You. It's a great book to share with your girl (and it has plenty of Dad-stuff in it, too!).

[Newmom!]

In my preschool class, in the spring, I start teaching the children who will go off to kindergarten in the fall, to close the door to the bathroom to have some privacy. So, some sence of privacy should have started a long time ago for your daughter.
I know I was embarrassed by naked body type stuff at that age. It is an era you are going to have to say good-bye to sooner than later.

Her Mom may have had a talk with her, but it is very appropriate, and probably had more to do with being in front of others in general and very little with you specifically - but it all applies equally.

You can still have rules like your daughter cannot lock the door to the bathroom (just in case you have to go in if she should fall or get hurt) but at the same time you need to respect her privacy and not enter without first knocking and getting her admission.

[MrsBurke]

Don't worry it's just your daughter and even if your ex had told her these things she only want to make sure that your daughter knows how to take care of her body since she is already 8. I've given my daughter a little bit of idea how to take good care of her body as early as 6 years old. :)

[lonesomesmomma]

My boy is 6 and he has always been pretty modest. So I wouldn't concern yourself too much with her saying this. My boy has showered by himself since he was 5, and before that he bathed by himself, I never really relished in the idea of him bathing with other people, it really grossed me out (I'd help him out if it seemed he wasn't doing such a "good job" cleaning himself), but for the most part he's always kept under wraps when it came to his privacy. But like I said he's always been a modest mouse and that's okay with me, I never forced any other idea on him, just part of who he is.