08-24-2010, 02:45 AM
I am a 24 year old; first time father of a one year old boy. His mother and I split about 3 months ago, after I found out about her having an affair, and are currently going through the process of a divorce. We have joint temporary custody until we get to the point in the divorce process where custody is determined. His mother has him 3 days one week and 4 days the next... Then I have him the opposite 3 days one week and 4 days the next. Since the separation he has not been sleeping well and it's gotten to the point where he will cry as soon as I put him in his crib. I asked her what kind of sleep routine she sets with him and think that her answer to that question is a major reason why it's so hard. She lets him sleep in her bed with him, in his carseat, or in his crib right next to her bed. Then when I have him I still put him in his room and in his crib which is not working anymore. I don't know what to do. I feed him solid food, then give him a bath, let him play a bit, change him and get him in his pj's, then give him warm milk until he falls asleep. The problem is when I put him in his crib he wakes up almost immediately. I'm exhausted and find myself getting frustrated. I try to let him cry it out at about 10-15 minutes a shot before going in to comfort him and I feel so guilty for doing it. I feel like a horrible father when I'm trying to let him cry it out. His "crying it out" and not sleeping has got me to tears. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to make the situation better for him. I don't know if it's the different routine than his mother does with him or our different work schedules or what... But something has to give and I need help. Ideas please???