5 YO son a little too fascinated...

[babycakes1124]

I'm sure this is not a new situation to many, but it is certainly a new one for me. My 5 yo son is a little too fascinated with 'girly' things, from dolls on tv to even combing his toy horse's hair. My husband believes it is 'just a phase', however, I think the behavior has gone on for too long. My son prefers to play with girls in school and just seems more comfortable to do anything I believe is 'feminine'. I have caught him once saying to himself, I am a boy, as if he has to talk himself into believing he actually is. Any constructive advice is welcomed.

[MommaC]

Does he have some friends who are boys? Does he do "boy things" with Dad?

[babycakes1124]

Yes he does and he seems to play just fine with his male friends. And yes, he does do boy things with his father. It's just when he's playing by himself, I notice he's into girlie things...Bratz or Barbie dolls on tv; he's just abolutely fascinated with them or wanting to play 'beautician' with my hair. He just seems much more comfortable with and around me. He has mimicked me putting on make-up or tries on my shoes...little things. I gently tell him that ladies/girls do certain things like make-up and he seems to understand. I am the one who doesn't understand. Maybe I am making too much of it.

[cuttiebomb]

Babycakes no need to worry, if you are the one that expends more of the time with you is perfectly normal whats happening remember your kid is growing and hes curios about everything at this age he needs your help to understand differences. Also kids have the mimic stage my DD who is 2 1/2 likes to wear daddy's shoes,boxing and play with cars lol. and also I remember my nephew playing with dolls at the age of six now he is thirteen and believe everythin is OK with him.

[War_Eagle]

If it makes you feel any better, when I was little, maybe about your sons age, I idolized my older sister and vaguely remember trying on her dresses to pretend I was her.

I grew up to play football at the high school and college level, was invited to spend Spring Training with the Pirates, was a Marine and, later, a firefighter and have never been homosexual or effeminate in any way.

It's just a stage and it's very common. He'll grow out of it.

[cajuncat743]

My little brother who is now six did and does the same things. He had a really long phase of telling everyone he met that "he had a baby in his belly" and would pretend to be pregnant, or pretend he had a baby and was a mom. He also liked to put make-up on me and brush my hair, and he would play with girls as much as he would play with boys. The reason he did this was because his nanny was pregnant and he became really interested in that, and he is very imaginative and artistic so loved to do my makeup and hair, it was like another form of coloring for him. And he was so friendly and loved everybody, that he didn't care if he had to play dolls or house with girls, as long as he got to play with them. He is very much a "boy", LOVES girls, and all the girls love him because he doesn't pull their hair and is so debonair and sensitive!! heehee
I also have to say though that even if he wasn't a "manly boy" my parents and I wouldn't have cared, but I know that that is just me and other people feel differently about it, as is their right.
But I would definitely just pay it no attention, kids love to do things that you don't approve of.

[relocatednyc]

I wouldn't worry about it. I know little boys who love to dress up as princesses, play with dolls, pretend they are fairies...etc....
I, myself, used to play with army men, GI Joe, Heman, and Hulk Hogan action figures.
Children are too young to really see a difference in things to play with and just want to have fun with whatever strikes their interest.
I would make sure not to call attention to it though. You could give him a complex if you draw negative attention to something he isn't consciously doing.
It is like a child saying a naughty word. If you laugh, you draw attention to it, if you scold, you draw attention to it, and both of those will end up with the child seeing that these words have some kind of power and they will take a note of that. But if you do nothing and ignore it, then it is less likely that it will be repeated.
If you were to say, what you are playing with are girl's toys, but he was just having fun with them, then he may not be able to understand why it is that he likes to play with girl's toys so much, and that could interfere with something that was just innocent child's play and make it something he takes a note of and keeps going back to.
Just leave him be and let the phase fizzle out.
Don't worry. My brothers played Barbie with me until we were in junior high. ;)
Best of luck!

[eldyahna]

I would say no harm can come of it, kids play with whatever strikes their interest.
When I was his age I was the little girl who would fight with the boys, had mostly boy friends, played in the dirt, caught lizards and bugs and everything else creepy crawly, and to this day I only wear makeup occasionaly, hate wearing dresses mainly cause heels are sooooo uncomfortable, but am definatelya girl! Im now happily married with an 18 month old son who likes to put on the heels I hate wearing!! Talk about irony! But if I were the so called classification of "girly" I wouldn't be able to walk off my porch without screaming about bugs or some other nonsense, and definately would not have been able to kill a snake when I was home alone!! We live on ten acres in the woods of FL, so being a tomboy has been a strength for me. Maybe your son will be a ladies man, and as such will never have a problem with getting a date ;-) Kids are kids and will follow whatever interests them whether their parents approve or not.. I just figure my son likes my heels cause they have sparkles and they clack on our hardwood floor, though he does walk in them much better than me, I've always preferred boots...

[bedford]

The Children's National Medical Center has a good pamphlet discussing gender behaviors in children:

http://www.childrensnational.org/files/PDF/DepartmentsandPrograms/Neuroscience/Psychiatry/GenderVariantOutreachProgram/GVParentBrochure.pdf

the contemporary pediatrics site has this:

http://contemporarypediatrics.modernmedicine.com/contpeds/data/articlestandard//contpeds/092005/148384/article.pdf

Lots of times it is just a phase. Even when it isn't, it can mean a lot of different things.

My son has been into girl stuff since...forever. He's 11 now, and still is. We're lucky to live in an accepting place, and he's had a good childhood, and he's going into puberty comfortable with his body, still.

[Aquarius68]

As a young boy I had a lot of girl friends (as a teen I had no girlfriends but that's another issue) ... anyway I saw nothing wrong with playing dolls, or playing "house" with them. Neither did anyone else I guess. First of all: if you're worried he might turn out to be gay then you probably need to do some soul searching because he just might regardless of an attraction to "girly" things to me those things are independent. I've lived in the SF Bay Area for nearly 20 years now after having grown up in more, erm ... conservative America. Anyway I personally like women. Never had an attraction to men, despite playing with "girly" things growing up. I wouldn't worry about it. And for the Love of All That Is please don't concern yourself with this issue again for at least another five years. I'd let it be.

[atippit]

my son liked to put on my makeup and loved barbie dolls when he was two. he's twelve now and so boy boy. i wouldn't worry about it.

[Skyblonde]

My four-year-old stepson loves to be around me and his big sister-especially when we are together. He doesn't want to be left out of "girl" things, so he does them with us. We painted his nails blue once and he looked like a little rockstar! He tries on my shoes because they're higher than his and my boots go up to his hips, which is hilarious. He wishes they made tights for boys, because he likes how warm they make his legs (I buy him the highest kneesocks I can find!) He likes to shop, play Barbies, etc. because he loves us and wants to be with us. He also loves tools and cars and dirt and playing guns and baseball and fixing stuff with his dad. I'm personally thrilled that he'll grow up to be the guy who can make a gourmet meal AND fix the stove when it's broken!

[mum2mum]

thanks bedford, i think that's a very useful pamplet! :)