View Full Version : Miscarriage Thread
08-19-2008, 05:23 PM
I have recently miscarried and would love to find a forum that is a place for people who have miscarried to "talk" and share. I am wondering if Parenting would start a new forum or if not, does anyone know of one that is already established? I may have to start my own . . .
08-19-2008, 06:19 PM
Hi, I've unfortunately, had 2 m/c, so if you'd like to talk, I'm here.
08-22-2008, 09:29 AM
Thank you saramommy - it is greatly appreciated. It has been exactly one week since my miscarriage and today I just feel . . . well, it is hard to explain, I feel like there is a heaviness just pushing down on my entire body. I really would have preferred to stay home, in bed, but Fridays are a big meeting day at work and since I missed last Friday I really needed to go today.
The past two days I have felt a bit sick - kind of a nauseated feeling. Should I be worried?
08-23-2008, 04:20 PM
Hi. I've had a grand total of 6 m/c now. I am so very fortunate that my 3rd pregancy was successful and my daughter is almost 3. I tell myself every day that she is my miracle- but it still hurts each time I lose another one, no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise.
I work with a lot of really young people so they really can't offer any support. They spend their time trying NOT to get pregnant- so they just don't understand the loss. My husband is wonderful- but when I m/c it's usually before 10 weeks so it's still somewhat hard for him to relate. Even though he's suffering the loss too-- I still feel so alone. None of our siblings want kids which is heartbreaking because I feel like my daughter will be all alone now. It makes me feel like I'm letting her down somehow by not giving her the support and love that siblings can bring.
I am constantly scanning this site for others in our situation- so I would truely appreciate being able to talk to others that are going through this as well.
08-23-2008, 04:46 PM
Hi, I've had 2 m/c so I can relate. Yes it is hard and I'm only 19, I do have a 11 month old son now and he's great. I got pregnant with him 1 month after my 2nd m/c.just take it easy and try not to get stressed out and the crying should get better soon. I hope that you feel better soon and I'm also here if you need to talk too.
09-01-2008, 10:35 PM
Hey there I know how you are feeling! I have m/c 6 times. Thankfully I am the proud mom of 4 children. However we have tried unsuccessfully for a year to conceive again and it's fustrating it really is.Doesn't help when you have no one to talk to about it! I like this discussion forum!
09-07-2008, 07:34 PM
I had a m/c in April 08. This is the place to be to talk.
It can happen again. I am pregnant again, and due 1/22/09 (20 weeks)
I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. I've had two miscarriages myself. They both happened before my now 3 yo son was born. They day before my first happened I had told my boss I was expecting. Then I had to call him the next day to tell him I wouldn't be in to work because I'd lost the baby. Awful. My doctor had a little "wisdom" that helped me get through it. She said she liked to think that miscarriages that couldn't be explained by health reasons were a woman's body's way of taking care of a fetus that wouldn't have survived outside of the womb anyway. It also helped a lot to talk with other women that had also had a miscarriage, and later given birth to a healthy baby. Once my son was born, the pain of the losses have dulled quite a bit, but I do still think about what those babies would have been like. Boy or a girl? Quiet and studious like me? Or atheletic and rowdy like my husband and son? Would he or she have been a good older sibling to my son? I think it's healthy to feel sad about the loss, even years later. It's not that different from losing a child you've given birth to. Everyone grieves differently. Everyone heals differently.
09-11-2008, 06:44 AM
I miscarried 2 years ago, 1 year after my daughter was born. It was an unexpected pregnancy but still very much wanted. I was so excited to share the news of a new baby to come with everyone I knew, but unfortunatly at six weeks I lost it. As all you ladies can understand, it was the most devasting thing that I have ever gone through. I tried to keep it a secret to give myself time to grieve and come to an understanding with God as to why this happened to me; only my husband, mother and sisters knew what happend. The hardest part was having to answer the upbeat question to oblivious friends and family of "how's the baby?" with a solomn "there is no more baby". I was very depressed, some days were much worse than others. Somedays I couldnt even get out of bed. A nurse in the ER tried to comfort me by saying, "it wasnt a baby yet, just a mass of cells...too early for a heartbeat. M/C is just the bodies way of saying 'oops, i messed up, lets start again'", but it only made me angry and I really wanted to punch that lady in the face!! I couldnt believe she told me it wasnt a baby yet! To me it was very much a baby, and it was all my fault that it died. But I was wrong, it was not my fault, its not any of our faults! And after hearing those words of that nurse play through my head for the millionth time, it suddenly made sense and I no longer blamed myself.
Now Im pregnant again, it took us 2 years to gather up enough strength to try again. Im only 8 weeks along, but today I had an ultra sound done and there was my baby...with a heart beating so strong as if it were saying "im here mommy and I'm gonna make it!". Im know Im not out of the woods yet, but everyday that passes successfully is a day that my baby has had to grow even stronger. And I have faith that come April, I will be able to welcome my angel into this World.
09-12-2008, 01:43 AM
I had a m/c a little over 3 years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday, our 3rd wedding anniversary. I still think about him. We were able to get pregnant after that and I am so grateful for her. The pain is gone because I know one day I will see him again. Grown up and complete, my grieving still comes sometimes because I didn't get to see him, but that doesn't mean he didn't exist, he does. I just trust that God took care of my baby that I couldn't have.
09-12-2008, 04:38 PM
I Know How You Feel!! I Had A M/c About 2 Weeks Ago. We Have Been Trying Since Feb.!:( We Are Still Trying & Hoping It Never Happens Again!! I Can't Imagine Going Through That Another Time!! It Is So Hard & So Sad Sometimes. Like Sunshinejune Said I Know He/she In A Better Place Though! At Least We Are Not Alone! I Am Sorry To Hear About Everyone Else's Experience.
09-16-2008, 10:49 AM
Hi Ladies, it is a very heartbreaking thing to go through. I am so very grateful for my daughter. We had a m/c in Jan. and have been trying again since. I am on my 2nd month of fertility blend, which a close friend conceived on, so am hoping that will work!
09-17-2008, 12:19 PM
I have a friend who just found out her baby won't live past birth. He has too many huge problems, and will be c-sectioned, hopefully to live a few hours. I just don't know what to say or do. She has 6 weeks until the c-section, and I know this must be torture. While this isn't exactly a miscarriage, I thought maybe you guys could give me some insight on how to help her. Know any good books?
I was thinking of making a small scrapbook for her to put some journaling and pictures/ultrasounds. Would this be nice, or just a dagger to the heart? Thanks for your input.
09-17-2008, 07:32 PM
We've had 6 m/c now. I count myself fortunate (ironically) that they've all been before 9 weeks. Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell (emotionally) and I'm devestated after each one, but I can't imagine the pain of losing a baby that I've "bonded" with and felt move. My 3rd pregnancy was successful and our daughter is almost 3. I actually got pregnant with her the month following my 2nd m/c. Talk about a shock. I tell myself that there is a reason for everything- and that if I am meant to have another child- then I will. I also realize that it's easier for me to have that attitude as I sit and stare at my beautiful and wonderful Anna.
I generally am depressed and an emotional wreck for a few days and then somehow, I just get this strength from within to "try again". I wish I knew where this came from- I generally wouldn't consider myself a strong and resiliant woman . I also admit that with each m/c it's getting a bit harder and harder... I just read an article that only 2% of woman have more than one m/c. Seriously? I will be 35 in 2 months.... "advanced maternal age", so my optimism is slowly dissolving. This past m/c they sent in the "remnants of conception" for genetic testing only to find out that everything was normal. I was happy but at the same time I feel like I'm back at square one. No reasons. No answers. I just really would love another child... and wonder why it's not happening the way I had hoped.
09-17-2008, 07:39 PM
what exactly is this "fertility blend" tha tyou are using? Is it something you make at home or is it from your Dr.? Hey....if it helps, I'm game !!
09-19-2008, 01:35 PM
craftyashley~ MY COUSIN( WHO HAS HAD SEVERAL MISCARRIAGES) HAD THE ONE THAT WAS CLOSE TO BEING FULL TERM CREMATED ONCE SHE "GAVE BIRTH"TO HER & NOW WEARS THE ASHES IN A NECKLACE LOCKET TYPE THING. SHE LIVES IN ATLANTA & THE HOSPITAL SHE USES WAS VERY GOOD TO HER & VERY UNDERSTANDING. I GUESS IT HAPPENS ALOT THERE SO THEY ARE PREPARED W/ SUCH OPTIONS. I DON'T KNOW YOUR FREIND .. SO I DON'T KNOW IF IT WOULD BE A HARD REMINDER( THE PICTURES & STUFF) OR A GREAT REMINDER??? IT WAS A GOOD REMINDER FOR MY COUSIN, BUT I WOULD THINK FOR MYSELF THAT WOULD MAKE IT HARDER. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TRY TO FEEL YOUR FRIEND OUT & SEE HOW SHE SEEMS ABOUT IT!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
09-21-2008, 10:26 AM
CraftyAshley- A friend of mine had a son who was miscarried at about 30 weeks. They were allowed to spend time with the baby after he was born and they had a funeral for him. A scrapbook is a great idea, but check with the mom first. She might appreciate the offer or she might appreciate someone helping her while she assembles it herself. Just let her know you are there if she needs to talk or needs help with anything else.
09-25-2008, 02:36 AM
My husband and I miscarried on Friday, September 19. September 17th set in to play three days of blur. We went in on the 17th for 'routine' genetic testing, something we both agreed we wanted, it wasn't necessary since nothing ran in our family but it was that assurance for some reason we wanted.
Let me back up, something wasn't right from the beginning. I wasn't feeling the joy of being pregnant. At our 8 week ultrasound, they told us we were only 6 weeks along, I argued that point. How could I be experiencing 5 and 6 week symptoms at 1 week? Nonetheless the baby measured 6 weeks and they moved our date forward 2 weeks. I questioned things we saw at that ultrasound, but they assured us everything appeared normal at that stage. I thought the heart looked odd and still again, I told them I was further along than 6 weeks.
The night before our testing, I told my husband, I didn't think something was right. I told him I had been reading about downs syndrome and I thought we were having a baby with downs. I wasn't sad about it, from everything I was reading, it was a journey but so rewarding. I was almost excited. My husband told me that everything would be okay.
Anyway, at the appointment on the 17th, the doctor said something wasn't right, but he wasn't sure what. He said it could be Trisomy 13 but the signs were not adding up. I began sobbing uncontrollably, my husband still watched the screen in disbelief. In the 3-D image, he zoomed on what was supposed to be the face. There was no face, there was no nose, there was something like a mouth with a severe cleft palate. There was one tiny eye in the center of the face (cyclopia). The head/skull wasn't shapped right, and actually the skull (my husband remembers the doctor saying) it wasn't even fused all the way shut. The brain was exposed, and it wasn't even a complete brain, it was less than half of a normal developing brain. Looking closer at the heart it revealed only 2 chambers. The doctor said whatever this was, it was the worse case he had even seen.
They set us up with a geneticist the following day, we were there for almost 4 hours. She confirmed everything and more. She said the baby was dying and from the physical problems I was having (I had lost almost 7 lbs in two days), it was taking its toll on me and would only continue to get worse. The baby, she said, would die in a few weeks, there was less than a 2% survival rate with absolute zero quality of life, but they stressed that this baby was dying and quickly.
I still don't feel like I had any choice because I also have ulcerative colitis and my body was wearing down. On Friday, September 19 we lost our baby. I believe we were 15 weeks and 5 days, the doctors concured that it was underdevleoped and that was probably correct but the baby was the size of 11-12 weeks. My husband and I are lost. I want my baby back. I know I will see her again (I believe it was a girl), and I hope she doesn't hate me for everything that happened, I hate myself enough. Everyone says it gets easier, but the pain of losing my first baby has been more than I feel I can take.
I am not thankful for anything, why should I be, I lost the most precious gift in the world. I never understood how painful loss really could be until now. I am sorry for such a long post, but I have been keeping so much in so my husband wouldn't see me get so upset, I don't want to make things worse on him. He is taking it extremely difficult too. He tells me I am the bravest woman he knows - I love him so much and I guess one thing we can be thankful for is that we do still have each other.
09-25-2008, 09:56 AM
Thanks so much for your advice I really appreciate it. So far she's taking it so well (which worries me). She said she'll be fine as long as she can hold the baby for just a little while. It's just hard to believe these kinds of things can happen.
My heart goes out to you, mamacollege.
MamaCollege - I'm so sorry for you loss. Don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. Everyone greives differently and that's okay. Just make sure you don't hold it in too much. Keep posting on this website or find a councelor, a grief share group (check out a local hospital for info), a friend, or a family member talk to if you feel like you can't go to your husband to talk about it. There's nothing I or anyone else can say to make the pain go away, but know that you are not alone. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
09-25-2008, 02:05 PM
MamaCollege- I AM SO VERY SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED!!! I WILL ALSO BE PRAYING FOR YOU & YOUR FAMILY!!!
09-27-2008, 09:47 PM
I must apologize for my original post. I was in such a bad place then, while I am not in a better place yet, I didn't mean to be so graphic and upsetting. In reading so many of the other posts on this thread, I realize there are more women who have been trying longer than myself and I just wanted to let everyone know that I am praying for all of you. I think we are all lucky we have found some place that we can tell other women our fears, anxieties, etc... I have been trying to be strong so that when my husband goes back to work this week he will be able to focus on his job (he is a consultant and works in a different state) and not worry about me too terribly much. For all the women with multiple miscarriages, I admire your courage and strength so much. After my one, I feel so small compared to the mountains that you all have had to climb.
I would love to know if any of you women live in the Northern Virginia area and would like to ever meet up for lunch or coffee or a pint of Ben and Jerry's!
09-29-2008, 04:38 PM
Aww Don't Apologize For Your Post!! It Is Never A Good Place To Be In!!! You Were Not Graphic Or Upsetting... That's What We Are Here For!! Anytime You Need To Talk Feel Free To Pm Me Anytime!! I Hope You Keep Getting Better!!
~sorry No Ben & Jerry's For Us(i Live In Alabama)!!lol!!!
09-29-2008, 11:08 PM
MamaCollege, I lost a baby in a very similiar way. I also had an ultrasound at 8 weeks along, but the baby measured 6 weeks. And I lost the baby at over 15 weeks, with the baby measuring at 11/12 weeks. I am sorry that you, or anyone would ever have to go through that. It is a terrible thing. I had typed you a long detailed message about my experience and somehow it was lost. If you would like to talk, I am here.
09-30-2008, 09:21 AM
APEMBERTON - You live in Alabama? That is awesome, I actually grew up in Birmingham and graduated from Auburn in 2003!!! I love my Bama Girls!!
My parents still live in Alabama, in Trussville and I frequent Huntsville for work a few times a year! You may not have Ben and Jerry's but you do have Mayfield's Moose Tracks! (we don't have Mayfields in Virginia.)
09-30-2008, 09:22 AM
Mamadecuatro - I am sorry I never saw your post :( I am so sorry what happened to you as well. Hopefully one day this will become a distant memory, not forgotten but not as painful. My husband went and got me a memory necklace for the baby. It is an aquamarine heart, which would have been the baby's birthstone in March. Also aquamarine means courage in the time of war (or something similar) and I thought it was very appropriate. I wear it everyday and it is something beautiful to look at when I am very sad.
09-30-2008, 10:02 AM
I love aquamarine. my youngest son was born in march. I conceived him one month after I lost our baby. It was NOT planned at all. I was completely in shock and fear at first. Did you go into labor or did you have medical intervention with your miscarriage? You dont have to answer, if you don't want. I just was wondering because I left the doctor after the last ultrasound where we had seen the baby had died. I just couldnt do anything. My doctor had given options on how to proceed, but I was incapable of making any decision. I went home and balled my eyes out. Two days later as I sat down to eat, I felt a pop and a gush. My water had broke. Immediately I began having contractions that came every three minutes for the next seven hours. It was real labor...with no (live) baby at the end. It was awful. We have three other children, they were with us when we went to the doctor and found out the horrible news. When we came home, my husband was trying to keep them out of the house, while I was losing the baby. I will never do that again. I have miscarried before, but it was so different and so much earlier (between 5 and 7 weeks, twice). It wasnt like labor, more like bad PMS. I thought I would rather be at home. Looking back I should have gone to the hospital. Hindsights 20/20.
My husband was devastated. I have never seen him so sad in all our marriage (we've been married ten years). And I felt so responsible for hurting him and our children. My youngest was 4 1/2 yrs. He kept asking me why the baby had to go to heaven, why he couldn't stay in my tummy. My other son (5 1/2) just said "I want our baby back!). Our oldest,almost 9 at the time, was so upset. She just kept praying that we would get a baby in my tummy.
Lost. you described it perfectly. That how we felt. Even after I was pregnant again, it didnt change my grieving for that baby. And I fought hard to control my thoughts. I didnt want to be a terrified mess my entire pregancy. My husband did not even acknowledge the pregnancy until i was eight montrhs along. Iknow he was just not ready and worried to hurt again.
thanks for sharing your story. i have never heard of anyone going through this so similiarly. It has helped. I hope it helps you, also.
09-30-2008, 12:08 PM
MamaCollege- NO WAY!!!! HOW FUNNY!! WE LIVE IN THE GADSDEN AREA!! WE GO TO TRUSSVILLE ABOUT ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS. WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HUNTSVILLE..I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK AT THE SPACE & ROCKET CENTER!!( THE INNER DORK WILL NEVER DIE!!) LOL!! WE GO UP THERE OCCASIONALLY TOO & STAY AT THE HOTEL RIGHT NEXT TO THE SPACE & ROCKET CENTER!! IT HAS A GREAT VIEW & MY SISTER & HER HUBBY USED TO LIVE 10 MINUTES FROM THERE!!! I AM AN ALABAMA FAN, BUT HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO GO TO AUBURN TOO!! MY COUSINS GRADUATED FROM THERE A FEW YEARS BEFORE YOU DID... VERY NICE CAMPUS!!
09-30-2008, 05:51 PM
mamacollege, i really love your idea of getting the baby's birthstone in something. i had a miscarriage in july at 10 weeks and i've wanted to do something special but couldn't think of anything. i loved your idea though. i've finally gotten the green light from my doctor to start trying again and i'm just full of emotions. i'm excited but i kind of feel like my miscarriage took something from the experience. i've lost that pregnancy spark. i think it just really opened my eyes to how difficult this experience can be. are any of you scared to start trying again? it seems like some people are ready right away, but i'm incredibly nervous. that experience was so hard physically and emotionally that i'm not sure if i'm ready to deal with it again.
on a side note, i just wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories. i'm still having difficulty recovering from my miscarriage and reading your stories and see that you are all still going on really has helped!!
anvil55 - It was very hard for DH and I to start trying again after my 1st m/c. In fact we abstained completely for a couple months because I just couldn't bring myself to risk that pain again. Eventually my yearning for a child overcame the fear of loss, and we tried again. And lost again. But I guess at that point I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of my dream for a child. (For once my stubbornness was a good thing in my life!) And then April 15th, 2005 I got the best news of my life...we were 8 weeks pregnant, further than we'd ever made it before. I didn't tell anyone besides DH until I was almost 20 weeks because I was afraid of jinxing it. So basically we told our friends and family one week, found out it was a boy the next week, and I started showing the following week. It was an incredibly hard road, but in the end it was worth it for me. I still think about the babies I lost, and it kills me, but it definitely eases the pain when I look over at my happy, healthy son. I wish the same fate on all of you.
10-02-2008, 06:20 AM
I have recently miscarried and would love to find a forum that is a place for people who have miscarried to "talk" and share. I am wondering if Parenting would start a new forum or if not, does anyone know of one that is already established? I may have to start my own . . .
I go to www.cafemom.com and here is the link to the miscarry/pregnacy loss support group I joined I went to dr monday and had ultrasound and baby had no heartbeat so i am waiting to miscarry if not d n c friday. I really like the group. I hope to see you there
10-02-2008, 08:52 PM
Wow, our story is very emotional as well. It is amazing the bond we women all share on this forum. I couldn't imagine having to explain what you went through to a child, that had to be hard. We have our first son, our english bulldog, and he reacted to our emotions and still is. He is slowly starting to get playful but for the most part his is very stand-offish and almost has this "I DIDN'T DO IT" look.
To answer your question, we had to have medical intervention. I have ulcerative colitis and my body was breaking down and I was in almost a full blow flare up. The geneticist and the OBGYN's were all in concurrence that if we didn't allow them to intervine, I would be in the hospital in one or two weeks suffering from my flare ups then I would have to give birth to a still born. Luckily/unluckily, even though I was further along (around 16 wks) but the baby was measuring around 11/12 weeks so I didn't have to give birth, I was able to be put to sleep and didn't have to experience anything.
I understand what you mean about your husband, mine is still having a rough time. His biggest problem is that he looked at the screen during the sonogram and saw the 3-D image of what was to be the babies face, he saw the cyclopia (one eye in the center of the face), he saw the lack of everything - he says he dream about that and that kills me.
I am worried about getting pregnant again. I am only 28 but I still fear that the older I get, the more I wait something else might go wrong. I think I want to try again, but then I think again and don't want to, I'd rather get a dozen more english bulldogs! I am scared to be pregnant again because of what happend and having to deal with my ulcerative colitis. I have so many absorbancy issues that I am afraid that the baby will not be able to absorb anything. They basically acknowledged that my prenatal vitamin just sat in my stomach and probably never fed any nutrients to the baby.
I am so glad I have found comfort in you, I really am. I hate that our commonality is this experience but maybe this will help both of us. If you ever want to talk offline, my email is RMHughins@yahoo.com. That goes for anyone who would like to just talk.
10-02-2008, 08:55 PM
OMG Gadsden...my grandparents live in Rainbow City!!! My great-grandmother lives in Gadsden next to Emma Samson HS. I knew I liked you...the more Auburn people you surround yourself with the better :)
10-02-2008, 09:03 PM
I got my necklace at a place called Jared's in Northern VA. www.jared.com. I hope this link works, I copied the link at the bottom for the necklace I got. I got aquamarine though and it was about $150 after I got the warrenty and all that jazz. The necklace I copied for you is the same one as mine but I put a Ruby in it for you since thas is July's birthstone. It says 'created' ruby on the page, but a genuine ruby wouldn't be that much more. It is a simple necklace and I generally don't care for heart jewelry (I am edgy in my jewelry taste) but the heart seemed so perfect, kind of my heart in the white gold holding her precious little jewel of a heart in the white gold.
I am afraid to try again, I know I am not ready yet but then I have a moment where I want to. I am not sure if the next pregnancy will be carefree...I think it will be much more tense and stressful until we do genetic testing and pass some milestones. The link to the necklace is below, I hope you like it!!
10-03-2008, 10:38 AM
MamaCollege- NO WAY!!! I WORK IN RAINBOW CITY.LOL!!! I NEVER THOUGHT ANYONE ON HERE WAS EVER GOING TO BE FROM ALABAMA OR LIVE HERE!! LOL!!! WHERE DO YOU LIVE NOW??? IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING!!! I LOVE BAMA FIRST, BUT I PULL FOR AUBURN TOO AS LONG AS WE WIN LOL!
10-03-2008, 09:59 PM
Hey, MamaCollege. How are you doing? Feeling ok today? Just wanted to say hey, and I hope you're doing well. Thanks for sharing your story. In a really weird way, its brought closer (sp?) for me to tell my story. Most people get uncomfortable if I were to talk about this (I think because they dont know how to take it) and for a long time I couldn't talk about it, because I was so emotional. So, thank you everyone, for sharing and for listening!
I understand the hesitancy in becoming pregnant again. For me, it happened so quickly and unexpectedly that I had to embrace it without much time to decide. I thought we might try like in two or three years...not two months later! But, I think it was a blessing in disguise, because I know how my mind works. And if I had taken that much time, I probably would NOT have tried. I know my husband wouldn't have. I have had other medical issues also. It can take away from that joy of bringing forth life. Not fair! I guess, what I'm trying to say is, Would you always wonder "what if?" you didnt try again. I have a girlfriend who totally doesnt feel that way. For her the risk of losing again was greater than her desire to be pregnant. For me, I knew I was putting myself (and my husband and my kids) on the line, but it was worth the risk. I have been pregnant like 6 or 7 times, but I have only birthed two children. I was 16 when I first got pregnant and 26 the last pregnancy. Until the last miscarriage though, I was not 'trying' to conceive and we had also adopted two children. At times my marriage wasnt going so great (we were young, immature, and selfish) so when I would find out I was pregnant, I was already so stressed that I didnt have time to think about (I wouldnt LET myself think about it. Overwhelmed is the word) and usually right away there were signs that there were already problems. I think thats why this last time was soooo different. We felt ready. We really wanted to have a baby. We were stable in our relationship. Our other children were older. It was part of the restoration of our marriage and family. Anyway, it hit us hard (like it would anyone) and I wouldn't wish it on my enemies.
I think its so awesome that you have your necklace. I'm not a big jewelry person (other than BIG hoop earrings ;) but my husband bought me an aquamarine necklace last year when he was in Turkey as a reminder of our baby. That is pretty weird, huh?
10-06-2008, 02:52 PM
My husband and I had sex for the first time since we lost our baby. I wasn't prepared for how emotional it was going to be. I cried almost the entire time. My husband thought he was hurting me but it was just so sad and a lot of emotions just came back. Did that happen to anyone else?? Right now, I personally would be okay not to ever have sex again. I ldo ove my husband very much though but - he may need to find a mistress!!
We also go the green light to try again for a baby starting around December. My husband was all excited but I am not ready. I am only 27 about to be 28 so I know we have plenty of time.
10-06-2008, 07:31 PM
I micarried at 9 1/2 weeks 6 years ago and I still wonder what that lost child would have been like. I was a mess afterward, I didn't go anywhere or do anything. My husband (he was my fiance at the time) and I went to a friends barbeque a few weeks later, I thought I was better. Well when we got there I saw her two beautiful babies and broke down into full blown tears right in front of her entire family. I know people mean well when they tell you there will be other babies but that only makes you cry harder. They only thing that was a comfort to me was when my man held me tight like he was never gonna let go. We married a month after the m/c and conceived our Austin that christmas. He was born on our first anniversary. Austin was born c-section and we found out that I have a birth defect. My doctor explained it like this: when a girl is in the womb developing there is a mall between the two halves of the uterus, as you develope the wall dissolves and the two sides fuse together. Well my wall never disolved, and only have half a functioning uterus. This is most likely what caused the m/c, and could cause more. So far we have two amazing boys and the possibility of another child eventually. I decided I can't let my fears of what might happen blind me to all the possibilities of what life can bring.
I wish all of you many happy healthy full term pregnancies in the future.
10-07-2008, 04:57 PM
cay8099, i'm so glad you did your post. i had my miscarriage at 10 weeks this past july. during my last ultrasound before my m/c my doctor told me that i have a horned uterus. basically i got the same diagnosis that you received. i think any one would be nervous to start trying again since having a m/c, but knowing that my chances are higher than the norm has really made me nervous about starting to try again. hearing about your two boys has really given me hope for our future kids!! thank you!!!
10-08-2008, 01:39 AM
Anvil55, I am so glad my post helped to give you hope. I have never heard of anyone having this condition other than me, it helps to know that I'm not the only one.
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