run away toddler

[cuttiebomb]

i'm writting this just to relief myself of some kind of guiltness I'm feeling at this moment; yesterday I went for a walk whit DD -she is 2 1/2 years- when I stoped to buy some fruit that she was asking for. While I was trying to pay she ran away from me directly to the street TG nothing happend, but you can imagine that I was scared to death. This has make me question my capacity as mom, I know and I try to repeat myself this can happen to anyone, but at that moment I thougth What if I didn't react as fast as I did? What if something could happen to her? What if I'm not a good mom?
Now I'm feeling some kind of discomfort every time I want to go out whit her. Any advices in how to manage this situation.

[MommaC]

We all have our "bad mom" moments. Just this morning I was pretty sure that my daughter had eaten a pair of earring I'd left on the coffee table. Luckily I found she'd just flung them around the room...but I was in a panic and dreading the call to the doctor in which I'd have to explain how irresponsible and unthinking I am. Just thank God you learned your lesson without any devastating consequences. Explain the rules to your daughter (she's definitely old enough to understand she must stay with you at all times when you're out and about). If you feel you need an extra measure of security, you could try those ridiculous child leashes (some are a cord from your wrist to hers, others look like furry backpacks). Don't beat yourself up too badly...we all learn from our mistakes.

[lovin3]

Don't feel bad because it happens to the best of us. I'd work on getting your daughter to understand how important it is for her to stop when you say so. Maybe you can have a special word like freeze or red light. Practice at home so that she'll be accustom to stopping when you say the magic word. Make it a "game" when you practice, but also talk about the stop rule before you go out. She should get the hang of it in no time, and then you can feel a little more comfortable. Having to hold your hand or the child "leash" things might be a good back up if she's having trouble listening. Follow the rules and she can walk by herself like a big girl. If she can't, then she has to hold your hand like a baby.

[ra11en]

I agree with MommaC and lovin3 - definitely need to have a talk with her. And stop beating yourself up! One thing I've learned as a mom is that we have to learn even more than our little ones! Be thankful you get to learn with no harmful consequences in this one, and keep going. :)

My DD is not quite 2, and she knows that she gets to walk by herself as long as she listens and stays out of the road. If she goes too far or into the road, or if she refuses to listen to me, she doesn't just have to hold my hand - she has to be carried until Mommy feels she can be a big girl again. It works very well - finding their currency in any given situation always does. It gives her a choice in the matter so she feels in control either way, and since she does like to be 'on her own' when we're out and about she usually abides the rules so that privelage isn't revoked.

Always remember that you have to always follow through with your boundaries. If you tell her she'll get carried, that you will go home immediately, or whatever you decide to say will be the consequence if she doesn't listen/stay close to you, you HAVE to follow through if she goes against your rules. And most likely, she will go against the rule - if for no other reason to test what will really happen.

Like MommaC said - we all have our 'bad mommy' moments, but they are really just learning moments. They don't come with manuals!!