Need help on how help wife

[swensonz]

Hello all<
I need input, i am a father of two and wife and i had are expecting again (very much unplanned). Wife not happy about being pregnant and does not want the weight gain really wants opossite the weight loss. She is a school teacher also and is supposed to start monday but was shafted by boss and made to transfer grades very last minute last week and is not is in classroom with no cooling and running at 90+ degrees. She is very upset about that also and feel very all over defeated. I am trying to help her find the good sides but not doing well, and not sure how to support her the best.
She is about 8 -9 wks and the doct appt is not tell the 22nd, and i am not sure as if she is still preggo because of zero symptoms.
Want to support her better however not sure which way and how< need suggestions or input from those who may have been there. She is very short and snappy and always downing on self and talking about how much she does not want to be pregnant, and how fat she is (says i am blinded to it cause i tell her she looks noce and beautiful and not fat), it is beginning to get to me and to add to the cake she really would prefer not to have anything do with me i think, I have been told i am bugging her.

Okay
thanks

[lena241]

Im sorry you are going thru this. I know what it is like being pregnant and totally not ready for it. I had a miscarriage in April and was very upset by this. I got pregnant right away, but honestly can say I wasnt happy about it. I wasnt done grieving and still fear that this is going to happen again.
I think that my husband also took the brunt of my fear, anger, and frustration. I know it sounds mean, but I was hardly ever phased by the way I would yell and scream at him. At one point, we did get in an arguement about laundry, which I was being totally unreasonable about. I did later apologize and confirm that this was nothing more than hormones, and I honestly did still love him.

Not to take her side, but pregnancy in the 1st 15 weeks is not good by itself. Add the fact that this was unexpected and a little unwanted and you have a bomb just waiting to explode. You sound very understanding, and Im sure she appreciates it.
I know it seems like a long time, but the hormones will settle in her 2nd trimester
(remember).

Maybe offer to buy her some new clothes. I know that when I started showing and tried to squeeze into my clothes, it made me feel horrible. I felt much better once I had pants that didnt squeeze and pinch, and a shirt that fit over these giant breast that God has all of a sudden decided I was deserving of, (Wish he would have blessed me like this from the jump) and a shirt that went past my waist line.
** I was very cranky about this alone **
You can also try reading the expecting books again, you know just to catch up. You being excited about this might help her to be excited as well. I know if I seen my husband reading "What to Expect when your expecting" I would just want to squeeze him.

Good Luck and Best Wishes
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