View Full Version : Need help or suggestions, preggo wife
08-09-2008, 07:47 PM
I need input, i am a father of two and wife and i had are expecting again (very much unplanned). Wife not happy about being pregnant and does not want the weight gain really wants opossite the weight loss. She is a school teacher also and is supposed to start monday but was shafted by boss and made to transfer grades very last minute last week and is not is in classroom with no cooling and running at 90+ degrees. She is very upset about that also and feel very all over defeated. I am trying to help her find the good sides but not doing well, and not sure how to support her the best.
She is about 8 -9 wks and the doct appt is not tell the 22nd, and i am not sure as if she is still preggo because of zero symptoms.
Want to support her better however not sure which way and how< need suggestions or input from those who may have been there. She is very short and snappy and always downing on self and talking about how much she does not want to be pregnant, and how fat she is (says i am blinded to it cause i tell her she looks noce and beautiful and not fat), it is beginning to get to me and to add to the cake she really would prefer not to have anything do with me i think, I have been told i am bugging her.
08-09-2008, 10:57 PM
So sorry for your plight. :( And hers for that matter! We women can be as hard to please as teething babies. You're doing everything you can to help/please/encourage her, yet nothing seems to "help". I have no magic key for you. Just keep being the best husband you can be. Love her (like really LOVE her...like when you were dating). Overlook her negativity (may seem impossible at times)...be careful not to go overboard though...empathize with her feelings, don't necessarily try to put a positive spin on everything, but offer to improve the situation). Humor can often be helpful. Deliver a popsicle bouquet to her incredibly hot classroom. Show up with a gigantic fan with a sign that says, "I'm you're biggest fan!" Every morning have a nice big ice water bottle ready for her to take to class. Call her during lunch and tell her a corny joke (Knock Knock. Who's there? Ice. Ice who? I so glad to hear your voice.) When a woman feels fat, no one can tell her different. Help cook light, healthy meals (pasta primavera is our new favorite) and offer to go on evening walks...those two things (along with buying one outfit that made me feel less schlubby) really went a long way to helping me feel better after having a baby. You seem sweet. I'm sure she appreciates the effort you're making even if she's sometimes put off by it. My husband can kind of do that sometimes. Don't be too constant and over-the-top about cheering her up. Let her feel what she's feeling and be a bit sly about your attempts to help her feel better. Good luck to you both!
08-18-2008, 04:32 PM
wow. Just the other day I was telling my boyfriend how I was depressed about never being able to fit in my skinny jeans again. (our daughter is 2 months old). I'm sure that's a pretty average opinion among moms- but hearing you say that you think your girl looks beautiful, makes all the difference. She probably will roll her eyes everytime, and maybe even say "yeah right" but believe me- just hearing that helps. Tell her WHY she looks beautiful- and at really odd times. Especially when she least expects it. That always made me feel really good- it said to me that he was thinking of me when I wasn't even thinking of me.
As for her being 'bugged' by you- I really wouldn't take it too personal, everything and their dog 'bugged' me until our baby was born. I really think that will pass when she gets closer to her due date. Give her time to unwind about the pregnancy- then when it gets closer to baby time- she will be done being upset about it, and just be excited for the baby to be here.
Good luck, I hope I helped!
08-22-2008, 09:58 AM
The fact that you care enough to get on here says a lot. I just had our second baby in April and this pregnancy was totally different. I didn't get sick a lot, but I turned into a major witch this time. I hated it because I felt like I had no control over my emotions and I've never felt that before. My husband was wonderful and put up with it all the time because he knew it wasn't really me. Keep telling her she is beautiful and complimenting her - we need to feel good about ourselves when we are pregnant. Do the little things that let her know you think of her. I never struggled with not wanting to be pregnant, but more than likely she will get past that, especially after the first trimester when she starts to feel better. And when she starts to get bigger, take her maternity clothes shopping. My husband did that and it helped a lot to have stuff to wear that made me feel good. But just continue to give her support and be patient. It sounds like she is lucky to have you!
1st Time Mom - Again
08-22-2008, 08:10 PM
My family said I was Medusa incarnate when the pregnancy hormones hit, so I can honestly say it will get better eventually. Hopefully she will feel better about the pregnancy soon. Just give her lots of support both now and after your child arrives.
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