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View Full Version : My 5 year old is shy



luvmygirlz
08-08-2008, 05:05 PM
Hello moms and dads, im new here and in need of some advice. My five year old daughter is really shy and I need some advice on helping her out. She has a hard time adjusting to new things and new people. She won't even go up to other kids on the playground to play with them, and runs off when someone goes up to her to play.

I enrolled her in dance classes, and even ice skating classes (that i took with her), thinking this would help her adjust. It was actually her idea to take the classes. But as soon as the first day came around she would just cry and refuse to do anything. She would even promise to do it the following class, but by the following class it was the same thing...we ended up just sitting on the side for 5 classes, then i just gave up on going after the 5th try.

She loves to dance and sing at home, but she gets terrified to take the classes.

She started kindergarden last year and cried for the first 3 weeks, but as soon as she adjusted she was actually one of the best students. Her teacher would constantly tell me how shes a good helper and how shes always willing to help out other students.
Well shes starting first grade in a few weeks and she tells me that everytime she thinks about it, it makes her nervous. I tried talking to her and reminding her how it was hard the first few weeks in kindergarden, but how after she made lots of new friends and she ended up loving school. That doesn't seem to help much, cause shes still terrified. We even went school shopping and I let her pick out a new backpack and clothes, but that didn't seem to help either.

MommaC
08-10-2008, 03:50 PM
Has she met her teacher? Has she visited her classroom? Does she have at least one friend in her class? Definitely give her these opportunities BEFORE school begins this fall. I'm sure if you explain the situation, the teacher will make some time to meet your daughter. When you visit the classroom, let her sit in the chair. Talk about where the teacher will stand and where her friends will sit and where she'll put her backpack. Knowing what to expect and getting comfortable in the environment can really help ease her anxiety. I think it's good to remind her how things went from tough to good last year. Also tell her that it's okay to feel nervous about new things...and then continue to remind her that even though she's shy sometimes, she is also brave.

Motivated Mom
09-29-2010, 09:50 PM
I am going through the same thing. My daughter has been in school since she was 3 and is still not adjusting. In her previous school it took us some time to get her used to the routine. Now that she is 5 and has started a new school for kindergarten, we dealing with the same thing again. She cries and has started to have accidents in school (wetting herself). When I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. No one is bothering her or picking on her, she just doesn't like going to school. It bothers me to leave her so upset but I know if I remove her everytime she feels this way, she will never adjust.

Offroading FJ13
08-22-2011, 11:35 PM
I'm having a similiar problem with my son, he is so shy in public that he wont do anything, he sat in a bedroom for 4 hours last christmas at my grandparents all by himself because he was too shy to be with people, and people he has known for years! a few of my cousins tried talking to him but he just turned his head and ignored them. Its happened at other places too, not wanting to do anything but the lazy river, with me, at a waterpark, etc...

diaperdad
08-23-2011, 09:08 AM
I agree with MommaC. If your child adjusts to new things at a slow pace then help them adjust earlier. Meet the teacher, see the classroom, start the school schedule and routine early. Maybe drive by the new school each day.