Maintaining Independence W/ Mother

[tripping out]

I am the father of 3.5 year old triples. I wokr, and my wife is a stay-at-home, full time, mother. Our problem is that when my wife is at home w/ the kids they are whiny, clingy, and needy and kvetchy.

When she is NOT there, they behave much, much better, play independently, and act, overall, more age appropriate.

How do we get them to behave the same way w/ my wife as they do for me and others?

[gorgeousmom]

It is a lot of work to be a stay-at-home mom. There is a lot your wife does for the kids throughout the day. Feeding, bathing, cleaning, diapering?, teaching, running errands. She needs a break. Pre-school would be a good idea. The more breaks your wife gets, the better mom and wife she will be. Also, in my area, there are some parenting groups for Stay At Home Moms. Look for something like that in your area. Get togethers, small classes, and seminars are taught by mothers and professionals. They helped me a lot. Your wife needs to get together with other moms and figure out how to be the best mom she can be.

[rmschmitt49]

Kids always behave worse for parents than around any one else!!
We have the reverse situation at our house...the kids behave badly for my husband (my thought is he lets them get away with more, even though he swears he doesn't!!)
Agree that preschool (if affordable) is a great break in the day for both mom and kids. If you can't aford a preschool for 3 kids on one income, there are other great opportunities for your kids out there, check into a program called Head Start or ask your local library about story time for kids (if nothing else, mom can actually read a magazine or surf the web without interruption!)

As is the case with my hubby, it was time for him to state the law and follow it himself...which can be hard when you're at home all day all week (know what a drain it can be, that's why I work now and he stays home for the winter with the kids!!) Your wife may need to set a schedule for the triplets and hard as it is with kids that age, stick to it.

If you find a solution that works...pass it along to the rest of us please!!

[tripping out]

Thanks. The kids are in nursey from 9:00 to 3:00 every day, it's managing the afternoons that are difficult.

[rmschmitt49]

Do they get a nap at Nursery? If not, that may be an issue. I know at that age, by daughter still needed down time.
Gotta ask, what time do you get home?
Do they act like this on weekends too or just during the week?

[ra11en]

My daugher is extremely whiney and clingy with me, but a little angel with my husband. I've done some reading and believe it's because I let her get away with more than my husband. Also, her little brain is learning boundaries and independence, which makes her a little insecure so she runs to mama for security. I haven't found the solution, although ignoring her tantrums with me seems to be helping - only time will tell though. Just know that your wife isn't alone with this problem!

[tripping out]

Do they get a nap at Nursery?
No, because if they do they then are up way too late. Also, generally, they don't need it.


Gotta ask, what time do you get home?
7:15-7:35 at night, sometimes after they are in bed and sometimes in tiem to help with bedtime.


Do they act like this on weekends too or just during the week?
Depends if my wife is around with me or if I took the kids so as to give her a well deserved break (and spend some quality time with them that I don't get a chance to do during the week).

[Seritalrogers]

I have a two year old son and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. My son give me the blues, crying all the time if I just say no, or don't do that he falls out like I've killed him. He's pulling on me, sometimes holding on to my legs when he wants something. He throws things when he doesn't get his way. My Mom and Dad were getting him like every other weekend to give me a break because his Dad works like six days a week so really its just me and him all the time, except during the day. I was really sick the last three weeks and he just got worse. His Dad thinks I make these things up, but I'm so tired and since I'm just being able to hold down food I sleep as soon after I eat. When he's with his Dad he doesn't act as bad, but his Dad gives him WHATEVER he wants so when I say no I look like the bad guy. Anyone else going through something similar? What did you do?