Heeeeelllllpppppp!!!!!!!!

[Britneylyn]

I am in desperate need of some advice before I completely lose my mind!! My son is a very intellegent and advanced 28 month old. But my issue is he absolutely will not listen! and that's only the half of it. He probably has about 10 crying and sobbing fits...a day. If you tell him to do something or ask him to do this or that, he'll start bawling! Or if his tv show goes off or he can't do something, he'll start crying and screaming. I seriously can't take it anymore! The minute he wakes up whether it be in the morning or from his nap, he'll start crying .. :/ on top of all that, he's got some serious attitude. If he gets sent to timeout, he'll say either "FINE" or " don't talk to me like that!". It's getting to the point where he's getting on my nerves and I yell in order to try to make him stop. I don't want to yell at my son. Please help!

[chloe_herbert1]

My 2 year old daughter has only had a few tantrums. I use the naughty step for time outs. Also if she yells she gets in trouble so now if I yell I get in trouble. When we started showing her bad behaviour is not good even for adults she improved. When you need to turn his shows off try telling him now it's time to say goodbye and we'll watch them tomorrow and follow with asking him if he would like to draw you a picture or do another activity you want him to.

Good luck finding what works for you!

[Jayney]

They really do just go through phases. And as annoying as it is (my son is 29 mos. old) you just have to remember, this too shall pass.

It helps if little ones feel like they are in charge of themselves. So try giving her some choices.

"Do you want your pink plate or your blue plate?"
"Green shirt or red shirt?"
"Pants on first or shirt on first?"

Trying giving her a 'countdown' for when her show turns off. "The show will turn off in 10 minutes. 6 minutes. 3 minutes. 1 minute. Okay, it's time to turn off _______." That way it isn't out of no where.

When my son throws his little tantrums, I continue what I am doing, and when I can get a word, I tell him I won't speak to him until he can talk to me calmly. Or if it's a mega meltdown, I sit him in his room, calmly tell him that he needs to think about his behavior and that he may come out when he is read to apologize. And then I let him cool down in there.

Do you have a designated place for time-out? My son has is Time-Out Corner in our living room and a Time-Out Bench in our kitchen for when I am cooking and I can't just stop what I am doing. I give him one warning, and if he is already in the middle of the bad behavior (standing on a chair, pulling books off the shelves, etc.) I give him a "1....2...3..Okay, you're going into time-out." He stays in for two minutes, because he is two years old. My son usually stops by 2 because he REALLY does not enjoy his time-outs.

Good luck!

[dbrum914]

I have the same problem with my daughter, although she never really fit-ed, and she's 8, so its not just a boy thing. And as much as you may hate to hear it, it may not be just a phase, but it probably is. Highly intelligent children some times have developmental issues that can last throughout their life or just a very "strong" personality. If you feel you cant take it anymore, ignore the "its just a phase" or "its a boy thing" and take your child to a counselor or physiologic that specializes in young children. Good luck!

[jocelynmadsen]

My son has weeks where he gets like that. He is 2 1/2 now. I chaulked it up to terrible twos. He's bilingual, so he's now nicknamed Terry Blados (terrible dos - hahahahahahahaha!). Anyways, he has my husband and I's strong independence, so we make sure to give him the illusion of control when he's really not, and let him be in control when it's OK. In the event that he throws a tantrum anyways, we let him scream it out in the corner. Sometimes it takes a while. A long while. We invested in a good set of speakers on the basement TV so the screaming wouldn't drive us crazy. According to our mothers we were the same way at that age, we just needed to figure out our place in the world. Like someone else said, if you are concerned you can ask a doctor or psychologist about it, but I personally wouldn't worry according to the info you've written here. Best of luck, and we're in the trenches with you!

[SAEJ's Mom]

My dd has just turned 3, and she has begun to act this way. It's not always easy but I find that staying calm helps her work through things quicker. When my husband and I ignore her, she tends to quite down. It's not easy because whenever our dd acts up my 1 year old son shakes his head and calls her bad. It's nice to know that it's not just my child that has gone through such a change. With her it is "okay" with an attitude instead of "fine." When she starts acting up, we tell her we can't understand her and she needs to relax. Sometimes this works, and sometimes there is a lot of door slamming and screaming. We always make her say sorry, and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable.

I also agree that prepping for change, and giving countdowns works. In our family when we are done with something we say goodbye. Goodbye playdoh, Goodnight swing, Goodbye Dora. This really does help with transitions, and not buying toys in a store.

What ever you do, try to be consistent and look for triggers. Hunger and tiredness can set my dd off much faster than when she is well rested and fed. Try to remember that they are just testing their limits, and trying to get a reaction from you. Like I said, it's not easy but in the long run I'm hoping it will pay off. Good luck.

[sdolphin_n]

My daughter went through this, starting between 18 and 20 months. We found out that this phase only passes if we deal with it correctly. We ignored the behavior and occasionally gave in to it, and by the time she was 24 months she was out of control. So we began letting her know what to expect and being consistent about following through. "TV goes off in 5 minutes" or "Bathtime is in 10 minutes" at first started the tears, and then when we followed through led to a tantrum. But we didn't give in and told her that the tantrum was only going to make things worse because the longer she fought getting in the bath the less time we'd have for stories before bed, or the more time she spent crying about the TV going off the less time she could do something else before clean-up, and so on. When we were in public when a melt-down began, she was taken to a private area and was in time-out until she finished her tantrum, then we continued doing what we were doing without giving her her way. A few days later, the tantrums were noticeably shorter and there were less of them the next few days. Within a month, she didn't cry or have tantrums very often but occasionally whined while obeying. By the time she was 3 years old, she rarely whined and never threw tantrums. We always made sure, of course, that we didn't run errands during naptime and she wasn't hungry, and that there were things she could entertain herself with when we couldn't entertain her.
For the getting-up crying, I didn't deal with that once my DD learned to play noisily by herself for a few minutes or to otherwise let us know she was awake and then wait for a little while. She knew that we would come care for her soon if she told us she was up, and throwing a fit wasn't necessary and wouldn't make us come ny faster. She also learned fairly quickly that the less she cried and screamed and fought, the happier and nicer we were, thereby keeping her happier and giving her more choices and positive reinforcement and less negative reactions.