Babysitter forgot to feed baby

[reagansmom]

I had an awful babysitting experience today. My husband went out of town for a week on a business trip and I let my mom & dad babysit my 8 month old while I went to a bridal shower. They had Reagan from 11-3. When I got to their house to pick her up she hadn't taken a nap and they forgot to feed her! She hadn't eaten since 9am!!! She looked so out of it when I held her. Her eyes were all red because she was so tired. I immediately nursed her because that's all I could think to do. When I dropped her off with my mom I told her that I had packed her baby food and a sippy cup in a cooler for when they feed her. I even wrote the amount to give her on the outside of the bag. She said that they thought that her food was for dinner (even though I told her I wanted to be home by 5 because that's what time she eats dinner) and just kept giving her water to drink all day. They said she was happy and smiling and didn't fuss so they didn't even think about it. I'm just shocked that it didn't even enter their minds. Poor baby passed out tonight because she was so tired. What age do you start allowing people to babysit? Should I write a list next time of specifically what to do and when? I never let her miss a nap and schedule everything around her naps. Of course, this is the one time I let someone else take her during a naptime. Now I don't know if or when I should leave her again.

[Disco Lemonade]

Omg. I would have been freaking out! My baby girl is also 8 months she could never skip a meal! I think babysitting is ok at what ever age (with family that has already been around children.) I think next time you should do a schedule of your babies daily routine. I do that with my MOM that lives with me and sees what I do with the baby all day. I still write down what times she eats naps and even plays I even add on there diaper changing and all. Don’t be so upset though I don’t know your situation but am sure they have so many things in mind that they forgot. Just provide the schedule and you’ll be good.

[gostomskiart]

I agree with Disco Lemonade, write down the schedule and make sure you go over it with them. Your parents may have thought they were doing fine especially if the baby didn't fuss too much so I would give them another chance but really emphasize that this is the schedule you want to stick too.

[MommaC]

I agree. It's not so much the age of the baby, but the preparedness of the babysitter. My mom babysits for me often, but I definitely hand her a schedule that has eat and sleep times (and I even put what she's supposed to eat by the the eat times). In the beginning I even typed up a whole manual of how to change, feed, put her to sleep, and soothe her. I little over-the-top, but I could enjoy myself more knowing that the babysitter would know what to do.

[ra11en]

Yikes!! That would have freaked me out too!! I can't believe your DD wasn't totally screaming at them!

My MIL was taking my DD overnight from 3mos of age. I always write out a schedule for my DD and go over it with her when I dropped her off. I always take the food I want my DD to eat and I write down what food is NOT okay to give her (much shorter list than what she CAN eat). I take appropriate snacks and drinks as well. At first my MIL was a little offended thinking I didn't trust her judgement, but then she became (still is) very appreciative of it. I told her she was there to have fun with her granddaughter, not worry about parenting her.

Then, after my DD had tubes put in her ears, I explicitly told MIL NO BATHS. I would make sure to give DD a bath right before I dropped her off, and would give her a bath after I picked her up. First few times I reminded her and she said "I know I know!" Of course, the next time I decided no need to remind her yet again and when I call to check in before bed time....yeah, she was just finishing my DD's bath. I about freaked! So did she!! All ended well (after trip to pediatrician the next day!) but I learned not to take anything for granted. I call often when MIL has DD. I time my calls to coincide with meals / snacks / naps / bedtime. I know my MIL knows I'm really calling to check on HER, not DD so much. :)

Give them a little slack - probably been a while since they had to take care of such a little one. And they probably did it differently regardless. I'm sure she loves your little one more than any other babysitter would. I'm sure it was tough being so worried about your little one, but chalk it up to a learning experience I guess. Poor wee one!!

Good luck!!

[kaiya23]

The daycare my daughter goes to had a college student who worked during her breaks subbing in my daughter's room one day. She fed her cereal and food at breakfast and lunch, but didn't feed her a single bottle, and this was when she had one at 9 12 and 3 during daycare hours. I was infuriated, told the director, and didn't see that college student there again. The next day I arrived with a detailed schedule written down, and provided a new one everytime the schedule changed.

It's scary, but unless it happens for days on end, your baby should be fine. Write down the schedule and keep in on the refrigerator...include feeding, napping, even the pattern she goes through (ie. eat, play sleep), so that they know to feed her when she wakes up, or play. Write down how she gets to sleep and how she stays asleep (back, side, belly). And write down the amounts of food and formula/breastmilk, and length of naps.

Give her a day or two to "recover" back to the normal schedule, b/c she'll need a little extra sleep and some lighter food so her stomach doesn't overreact and give her a belly ache.

I babysat for a mom who had everything written down, food/juice portioned out and on the counter or in the fridge, and the time that the little boy was supposed to be in pjs, teeth brushed and watching a short lullaby video before I laid him down for bed. My job was so easy and I never questioned what I was supposed to do.

[northernva.mommy]

I am sorry about your experience. Luckily I have my parents to help and THEY always insist on me leaving detailed instructions. Hopefully it will be better next time. I always leave all the food out or labeled so they know exactly what the baby can have and also leave the extra clothes in a easy place to find.

[bluegrassmom]

wow. I can't believe your parents didn't figure it out. My mom takes care of my daughter occasionally and I trust her completely. (I survived, didn't I? :) It's hard to imagine that your parents didn't think to feed her. I'm sure that if you give them a detailed list next time, they'll do great though.

[darplocho]

i agree with ra11en about calling every now and then, timing to call to coincide with meals. i'm sure it would give you peace of mind.

btw, i have almost the exact opposite issue when my mother watches the kids: she thinks food is the answer for every cry or unhappy sound the kids make. haha. i know she does it out of love. i don't mind it so much. she doesn't watch them very often since we live so far away....and it could always be worse.

[War_Eagle]

A couple of hours won't hurt the baby in the long run. It may make them a little lethargic, like you found out the hard way, but in the long run, they'll get over it pretty quickly.

That was pretty careless of the grandparents, especially since, obviously, they've done this before with their own children.

I'm sure it wasn't outright neglect, but just some confusion about the details. The best thing I could suggest is to write all the instructions down. If Grandmom says anything, just point out that it's not that you don't trust her, it's just so that the baby doesn't get out of the routine you're trying to set for him.

We're very lucky in that both of my parents and their new spouses, any my grandfather have homes on our farm so anytime we need somebody to watch the children (9-15) they're there. Of course, now, the kids can usually watch themselves, with Melody or Jason in charge, but when they were babies, it sure was nice to have that help standing by. In our case, not feeding them was never a problem. I used to joke that my grandfather packed food down them like he was packing gunpowder into a canon.