Home schooling

[Casalinga]

I'm very interested in understanding the reasons for which a parent decides to home school.

Is it religious? A lack of faith in the public schools? School violence? Or do you live in a remote area?

Or do you just think you can do a better job?

You don't have to try to convince me that home schooling is good or bad. I just really wonder why you do it.

Any input would be very much appreciated - thanks in advance!

[rachelhayton]

I think mothers do it for all of the above. Im not going to lie- I would love to shelter my daughter from all the things that go on in schools these days! Times are not the same. She is not in school yet but I can see why people would home school.

[KelEMcE]

Hi Casalinga:

I homeschool my daughters. I belong to a network of homeschooling moms in my area, and everyone is eager to share their reasons for homeschooling. So here's a list of reasons some of the other moms have given me:

1. religion - lots of these moms want a seriously hard-core Christian curriculum that you just won't find, even in a Christian school. They do not want their children to even HEAR about evolution, see a witch on a worksheet, etc. There are a lot of homeschooling websites dedicated to this type of curriculum.
2. dislike for the public school as an "institution" - they feel that the school is, at worst, a government entity out to brainwash their child, or, at best, unable to make the curriculum fit the child. Rather, they feel that the school lumps all kids together and makes the child fit the curriculum. Complaints of worksheet-based, busy-work type curriculums fall into this category.
3. a desire for more time with their kids, less focus on an externally-imposed schedule (hurry! school starts at 8! get up! eat!), freedom to travel with a spouse's job requirements, or even a family who moves a lot (government or military) to keep some consistency in the children's lives
4. a desire to individualize their child's curriculum to meet specific needs, including athletics, artistic pursuits, giftedness, or a child with special health or social/emotional needs
5. a feeling that much of the day is "wasted" in school with a lot of downtime that is not being used for instruction (assemblies, passing periods, snack time, play time, character education, AIDS education in Kindergarten, etc)
6. a desire to shield or protect their children from negative socialization (let's face it, the number one "complaint" against homeschooling is that the kids won't be socialized to their peer group. These parents don't WANT their kids socialized to the peer group's norms, but to the family's norms.)
7. a lack of appropriate programming for their children

Personally, I used to be against homeschooling (unless the local schools are just so bad that you really had no other option - and ours are not bad, just rural, poor, and lacking in programming). I was a public school teacher of the gifted, and I still believe in the public school system - in most cases.

I homeschool for several reasons. One reason is that my daughters are highly gifted academically and there is no program where we live for them. They are two years ahead of their age peers. There are NO other kids at our local school who are identified as gifted, and no staff or faculty who are trained to teach gifted kids - who have very specific needs academically. Spending a week on a concept that they understood in the first ten minutes was difficult, to say the least. For example, in Kindergarten, my daughter sat for five weeks reviewing letters and sounds - skills she taught herself at 23 months. Even though she was reading at a second grade level, she had to sit for two hours a day reviewing letters and sounds. (In all fairness, the staff really tried to work with her, but simply had no idea what to do.) Secondly, my daughters are bright, articulate, beautiful, kind, athletic girls who got picked on simply for being smart by some of the "mean girls" in their classes. (The boys, however, were better friends than some of the girls!) Another reason was that my girls stopped WANTING to be smart, because they saw that it made them different. A fourth reason is that we are moving back to a larger, more metropolitan area very soon, and my children would not have been prepared for the next grade level. (Where I used to teach, my students were about a year ahead of the schools here in my new town - so I was concerned that my kids would be unprepared for the increased academic pace.)

Since I started homeschooling, we are done with lessons in about 2 1/2 to 3 hours each day, compared to 7 hours each day in school. The girls take ballet, figure skating, swimming, piano, horseback riding, art classes, soccer, gymnastics, they participate in scouting, have regular playdates, and participate in activities with the local homeschool group. They volunteer, we go to museums, and we travel extensively. We take our lessons with us.

I will not homeschool forever - I firmly believe that kids benefit from outside teaching by experts in their fields. Being a certified, credentialed elementary teacher of the gifted, I am uniquely qualified to teach my kids (the oldest is 6) at home. There are some parents who "buy" programs from cyber schools; I think it would be a waste of money for me, but it seems to work for parents without a teaching background.

My girls have a literature-based, thematic, individualized curriculum that meets their needs. I plan my lessons so that each child gets one-on-one time as well as lessons that we do together. If we are studying polar bears, we go to the zoo to observe, videotape, and then write about them. If the kids take an interest in Impressionism, it's off to the museum. When they understand comparing and ordering in the first five minutes, we don't have to spend a week drilling and doing worksheets. I modify the curriculum by age and developmental level. But that means that my preschooler has already learned to sound out short vowel words (cat, fat, mat), at age 3 1/2, because she benefits from the phonics lessons that she hears while sitting on my lap in our home classroom. She's starting the Kindergarten curriculum now.

I do see a difference in my kids since I pulled them out. They are more interested in learning, they are advancing much more rapidly than their peers (we've already finished the entire year's curriculum for Kindergarten and first grade, so now they are starting on the next year's work), they get along with each other better (a lot of homeschooling moms report DECREASED sibling rivalry because kids see that they actually do get a lot of attention all day long, not just crammed into the three or four hours between dismissal and bedtime - a time for lessons, homework, showers and dinner as well as "quality" time), they have more time for family life, they spend all of their "school" time engaged in meaningful learning. They LOVE being taught at home. But is that because the school experience was so negative this year? I will never know. However, I want them to have those memories of recess, of giggling in the hallway, of shared secrets with a girlfriend. So I will not keep them home forever, much as I'd like to shield them from all the mean girls, bad words, and nastiness of the outside world. As soon as we relocate to an area with appropriate programming, they will go back to school.

Having said ALL of that - it is not easy. It is immensely rewarding, like motherhood, and I absolutely love teaching my children. But be prepared. Housework suffers. When I teach, I teach - I don't answer the phone or the door. I don't do dishes or clean during our lesson time. Laundry piles up. I have less time for me and for my interests. I still have to run a house, keep the family's schedule, be a good mom, make time for my marriage, be a good sister/friend/neighbor/daughter/volunteer/person, be the Girl Scout leader, the backstage mom, the costume mistress, the team mom for soccer. But my kids will not be young forever, and we can't get this time back. And my husband is very supportive and pitches in with household chores when he gets home. Spousal support is imperative.

Hope that helps. I'd like to say I am not usually that long-winded, but that would be a total lie!

[Luvnlife]

Hi Casalinga,
Personally, I thought it was something I would never have the courage to do. I watched my sister successfully homeschool her three children and thought WOW...I admire her and it works for her family, but I could never do it.

Now, a few years later, I am homeschooling my 6 year old (first grader) and I wouldn't change a thing. I love having her home with me during the day rather than just seeing her for a short time at night.

We chose to homeschool for many of the same reasons others do, the influence, our christian perspective and world view, we wanted to be more directly involved in what she is learning and to be witness to those "light bulb" moments when she understands something new. We are blessed to be able to do a lot more as a family this way and our schedule is more flexible. The main reason we did it was because my husband leaves for work at 2:00 in the afternoon and gets home at midnight. He works Wednesday through Sunday nights. He would see very little of my daughter if she were "away" at school. We felt that it was more important that he be a more frequent constant influence in her life and at this time, he can't change his work situation. So, now my husband is even involved in educating her and she is closer to her 3 year old sister than I think she would be if she wasn't here all day long.

We too are involved in outside activities, playdates, field trips, AWANA, etc. The kids are socialized, but we have better control regarding with whom and when.

This is my very first post anywhere about any topic! I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to homeschool my children and I have gotten so passionate about it! Have a great day.

[Casalinga]

Thank you for your thoughtful replies. I respect your reasons for homeschooling but to be perfectly honest, the shift toward homeschooling ( I see it as a movement that is rapidly growing) is a bit of a concern. While I think that sometimes there is really no other choice, I wonder if some parents choose to homeschool because of they really can't see what people other than themselves have to offer their kids.

I worry about parents that want that much control over what and how their child learns, how they interact and with whom.

As much as I love my parents, some really important childhood influences came from other adults, and not necessarily the ones my parents would have chosen.

If I am wrong, set me straight, but it seems to me that some homeschool parents don't give their kids enough credit.

[KelEMcE]

You are NOT wrong, in my opinion...as I said, I want my kids to have the experiences that can only come from a school setting. A mom I know told me today that her 13 year old son is begging to go to school because he "wants friends" - but she will not send him because she doesn't think he'll make the "right" kinds of friends. Frightening! Here's a kid who knows what he wants. What happens when he goes to college and is exposed to thousands of kids, but has no experience? There are certain situations that we need our children to face while we can walk beside them and advise them, and if we wait too long, how will they make decisions on their own? This same mom lectures her children for ANY instance of disagreeing with their parents, as they must be submissive to their parents before they can be submissive to God. That scares me, because I actually LIKE for my kids to disagree with me - respectfully, of course, but if they can state/argue their position and solidify their thinking on an issue, isn't that a good thing? Isn't that the type of civil discourse that we want our kids to participate in?

I can be honest enough with myself to say that I know I can do a better job teaching my highly gifted first grader than ANYONE at our local school. I have ten years' experience teaching gifted kids, a masters degree in Education, and endorsements for gifted education from all three states that I'm credentialed in. Most parents do not have that background. There is not one teacher at her school who has ANY experience teaching gifted kids, nor are there any teachers willing to take the courses needed to be certified/trained to do so. A worksheet-based curriculum that doesn't allow for kids who are two grade levels ahead of their peers doesn't meet my daughter's needs! But, for us, homeschooling is a short-term arrangement until we can find a suitable placement for her. That will mean moving to a more metropolitan area, which will happen this summer.

I respect a parent's right to make decisions about his/her child's education. But as a teacher, I wish parents would understand that I have specialized training and materials that they don't have - and I have years of experience with lots of different types of children. Some of the kids I see at our local homeschooling functions are woefully unsocialized as to societal norms of behavior. They have no idea how to approach another child to play or make conversation. They are wild and loud, or painfully shy, or just (to be blunt) completely dorky and geeky! They don't understand how to line up, take turns, wait for something, the give and take of play and conversation. They often think themselves the equal of adults in their lives, which they are not! It's too bad.

[eaobmommy]

Hi All: I will homeschool my children when they are compulsory school age. I homeschool them now: letters, numbers, shapes, colors, common objects, counting, nutrition, family values, manners, potty training...the list goes on and on. I agree that outside influences are important. My children are involved in swimming class and will be joining karate, soon enough. They are used to being with children of all ages, therefore can socialize well. I do worry about them being "dorky and geeky". But, I have that label stored neatly in the back of my mind, so hopefully that will keep me in check! I do not have a masters, or for that matter, a bachelors, in anything. But I do not think that your education qualifies or disqualifies a person to teach their children. Most parents know their children better than anyone. You know when they need a break and you know when they want more, more, more. You know when it's time to get them involved in hands-on activities: in the mud, in the garden, in the water, in the slime! You know when it's time to slow down and listen to a little Bach or Rossini and read Oh, The Places You'll Go! or The Rainbow Fish. Cirriculum is created by those in the school district. There isn't a map of statewide required texts. If you want your students to read Pride and Prejudice, stick it on the list. As a homeschooling parent you can still meet town/state guidelines for learning concepts and focus on what your child really wants to learn. I loved Great Expectations, but not everyone did. Wouldn't it have been great if they could have read and studied something they were passionate about? My son loves pirates...so for the past two months we've made telescopes, drawn treasure maps, read pirate books, worn costumes, acted out pirate escapades, created a pirate ship out of couch cushions and put "booty" in the bank, after recycling cans. We sing pirate songs and all the while my son is getting such an amazing education incorporating literature, math, science, history, physical education, art and music. I do not homeschool for religious or political reasons. I love my children and am fortunate to be able to provide this opportunity to them. If they ever reach a point where they want to go to traditional school, then at the start of the next school year, off they will go on the yellow school bus. But, for now, we'll enjoy being able to sail away on pirate adventures whenever we choose, learning and loving.

[Chocomel]

While I think that sometimes there is really no other choice, I wonder if some parents choose to homeschool because of they really can't see what people other than themselves have to offer their kids.

I worry about parents that want that much control over what and how their child learns, how they interact and with whom.

As much as I love my parents, some really important childhood influences came from other adults, and not necessarily the ones my parents would have chosen.

I registered for this forum simply because I wanted to respond to your post since no one else has. I hope that is OK. I am an adoptive parent of a boy age 14 and a Chinese girl age 11. We have always homeschooled. It has allowed us to live in China for 3 years where we got a good start on learning the language. It has allowed my children to pursue their passions of ballet and baseball without the stress of looming homework. It has allowed us to school through the summer for my son who has learning issues, including retention. It has allowed my bright daughter to work at her own pace without concern for grade levels. I could go on with the benefits we've seen. But I just wanted to give you a short introduction before I answered some of your specific concerns.

I can understand why you might think that homeschooling tends to offer children little outside influence, however, from my experience, most homeschooling families tend to overcompensate for this. They have the children in various types of private or group lessons including languages, dance, music, sports skills, etc. There are also many opportunities for having other teachers in homeschooling co-ops. They are usually involved in various sports and church activities. Many are involved in volunteer service opportunities in the community.

Because we aren't tied to a school schedule, we are able to work our schedule in such a way that we can actually fit in more opportunities.

Your concern about controlling what and how a child learns is interesting. I'm sure you would agree that no one has a more vested interest in a child's progress than the parent. That is why studies have shown that for every form of education you choose, the single most important factor in predicting success is parental involvement, no matter what level of education the parents have achieved. I'm sure you would also agree that every child would learn better with a private tutor who can tailor the education to the child's learning style and rate of progress. So having a tutor who loves and cares about the child is even better.

Someone has already mentioned that homeschoolers prefer to teach socialization skills themselves rather than having peers teach them. Although this is true, they still pick up bad habits and behaviors from their interactions with other children in their activities. Homeschooling's advantage is that by being with them more, we are able to discuss and correct things as they come up.

Will they be misfits? The truth is that if a child has social interaction issues, they will have those problems no matter which form of education you choose. My two are very social and have always made friends of all ages quite easily. Yet I have friends who public and private school their children who have no friends. I think many people choose to homeschool children who have social interaction issues such as Asperger's Syndrome for the reason that it is easier on their children. This often makes homeschooling functions seem disproportionate in the number of children who have social issues. I congratulate these parents for making the sacrifice to homeschool them.

I also think that as my children have reached junior high age, I have tried to encourage mentoring relationships I see developing. They spend extra time helping a coach or a teacher. They might particularly like a friend's parent. I am aware that as children grow older they need and want more adult input.

I would encourage you not to paint homeschoolers with such a wide brush. Yes, there are probably some homeschoolers who are everything you describe and possibly worse, but from my experience, I've never met any.

Homeschooling is a huge sacrifice in many ways. I don't believe that it is for everyone. But for those that are committed to it, the benefits are worthwhile.

I hope this addresses your concerns.

[alenescountrykids]

I sent my children to Public School @ 8years ago. My oldest was treated bad by the other students and the school did not a thing about it. That was from K-5th grade. And my other Daughter was left on the play groud with a broken arm in second grade. The teacher told me after asking what had happen that she was fine. Just take her home.
That is a few reason for my family Home Schooling.

My oldest Daughter is now 18 lives on her own. Works as an LNA. This fall starts classes for her RN. A couple of years ago she was telling that "when she was in school she had thought of killing her self, because of school and the way she was treated.

My other daughter is working on becoming a cheif. Her creations are so good.

I also have three other children. They have always been Home Schooled. I'm so glad that we had choose to Home School our Children. I feel the best teacher is the parents. We teach them to walk and talk. So why not what right and wrong. How to treat other people. Instead of the play "GROUND RULES". I love my children and want the best. I feel as parents we were given the greatest gift from God. Our children. Why not Home School if we can.

Alene

[War_Eagle]

I'm very interested in understanding the reasons for which a parent decides to home school.

Is it religious? A lack of faith in the public schools? School violence? Or do you live in a remote area?

Or do you just think you can do a better job?

You don't have to try to convince me that home schooling is good or bad. I just really wonder why you do it.

Any input would be very much appreciated - thanks in advance!

There are several reasons my wife and I decided to homeschool our five children. Among them:

1) We knew we could do it better than government schools (and we have).

One of the biggest problems with government schools (and I say this as a former government school teacher) is that they're designed to cater to the lowest common denominator. If children are behind, then the children who are ahead are forced to wait while the others catch up.

I've always believed that you set the bar high and play to the child's strengths, while shoring up his weakness.

Government schools don't do that. They just obsess over the weaknesses.

2) Government schools don't offer a complete education. None of the schools in our area teach Latin, economics, rhetoric, philosophy, or religion.

We really like that our children are learning these things.

I really don't know very many thirteen year olds who studied Milton Friedman, or fourteen year olds who are taking a seminary level Survey of the Old Testament.

3) We live so far out in the country that the children would have spent nearly three hours a day on a bus. That's time that could be better spent either playing or learning.

4) The peer pressure is tremendous and we didn't want our children exposed to that.

5) We just like spending time with our children.

[forthischildweprayed]

First I would like to applaud you for your inquiriy of homeschooling in a non-judgemental way. I recently read the august issue of Parenting and was very angry that we are still having this homeschool debate. It is about as tired as which is better-a stay at home or a working mother.

First I will start by addressing the 62% of you who voted against homeschooling. I will address each point one by one.

School is more than academics...it teaches kids how to function in society and gives them experiences that help them survive in the real world.

1. It is not the schools job to teach my child how to function in society. That is the job of a committed and involved parent.
2. I wasn't aware that I was living in a fake world.

Kids must be exposed to other children so they can develop the social skills they need and get a break from the house.

1. I agree, but who says that can only occur in a school setting.

Many parents don't have the knowledge or expertise to properly educate their children.

1. How preseumptuous! Virtually all the parents in my homeschool network are college educated.

2. Expertise is readily available for those who need it via home school networks, tutors, and other para-professionals.

That said, here is why my husband and I decided to homeschool.

We live in a city where 99% of the public schools are in academic failure. So much so, that our supreme court upheld a ruling that the state must provide vouchers so that parents who have children in these schools can send them to a private school who accepts them.

We applied for and received a voucher. After visiting several private schools we finally found one that fit our daughters needs as well as my schedule of a work at-home mother of said daughter and two-year old twins. We were excited that we had finally found the perfect fit. One month later we were informed that the campus she was to attend was closing. Terrible news because the only option left was to bus her to the main campus nearly 20 miles from our home!

Putting a five-year old on a bus and sending her 20 miles away was not an option! Getting up and 5:30 AM and dragging 3 kids out the door for a 45 minute drive was not an option either.

Fortunately this private school had a home schooling component. It provides materials, books, oversight, testing and monitoring, as well as opportunities for social networking via field trips and monthly classroom activities with other children her age.

Will I put my kids in school? Yes, someday when the time is right and all my children are old enough to attend school I hope to enroll them in another private school. But for now, this is the best option for all of us.

It is time for people to understand that all good parents want the best for their children. If homeschooling is the best option, why should that be a problem for anyone. My child is not socially deprived. She attends church, sees her cousins frequently, and attends ballet and art classes. She is being taught by two professional people. My husband has a B.S. in Industrial Engineering and I hold a B.A. in Communications. Further, as previously stated we are part of a growing network of professional people who understand and greatly appreciate this new era of options. Education is about people, not systems. It's about doing what is best for the individual.

Once upon a time there was no such thing as a public school. Parents who could afford to educate their children either sent them away to a boarding school or they hired private tutors to educate. The latter sounds like homeschooling to me.

Lena Arnold
Publisher, INfertility Press

[nathaliehanna]

Thank you for your thoughtful replies. I respect your reasons for homeschooling but to be perfectly honest, the shift toward homeschooling ( I see it as a movement that is rapidly growing) is a bit of a concern.

It confuses me that the shift towards homeschooling would be seen as a concern.

It has been proven over and over again that, as a whole, homeschoolers are not only more socially graceful than their schooled peers, but also have a wider and more complete range of knowledge.


I wonder if some parents choose to homeschool because of they really can't see what people other than themselves have to offer their kids.

I think it's not because of this, but because they know that people other than themselves do not fully KNOW their children and will not put an entire class on hold to cater to their individual child's interests. You might say that's a good thing, because the child should learn that he doesn't come first, but when a child is being educated, his interests and passions are what's going to educate him - not the teacher preaching to him.


I worry about parents that want that much control over what and how their child learns, how they interact and with whom.

Isn't that what schools do? I mean, there is a set syllabus that MUST be taught, tests that MUST be passed, books that MUST be read, and there is no swaying from that. Teacher says we are memorizing Emily Dickinson, and if student finds her dull and prefers to memorize Alfred Noyes, too bad. You get no choice. You need the grade.

As for interaction, a child is put into a classroom setting with people only his or her age. That seems like schools are controlling who the child will interact with and how as well. You can't mingle with the upper or lower grades, sometimes not even at recess! You are just "stuck", year after year after year, with the exact same set of kids. That is far from "normal" - life isn't like that.


As much as I love my parents, some really important childhood influences came from other adults, and not necessarily the ones my parents would have chosen.

True, but I bet you can also say that some really negative influences came to you in the form of your classmates as well.

It has been my experience (knowing tons of homeschoolers) that even at young ages they are able to interact and socialize appropriately with adults. I know as a public school kid myself, my classmates and I just didn't have that ability. Adults were in a world of their own, but to a homeschooler, adults often are more seen as part of the "real" world and so interaction with them is easy.


If I am wrong, set me straight, but it seems to me that some homeschool parents don't give their kids enough credit.

I would say that "schools" don't give kids enough credit.

For example, if Johnny has been drawn into Civil War interests while paging through the measly chapter in history class with his peers, and wants to delve more into it, he isn't allowed to. He has to go on to the next subject with the rest of the class, even if his heart is back in the earlier chapter. Perhaps he'd even want to write a paper on the Civil War, but Teacher says no because the paper that will be due in a week must be on World War I. He can't turn that little flame of interest into a blazing fire of knowledge in his mind. So he memorizes what he has to memorize in the rest of the book (that he now finds boring), then promptly forgets it all, and may even lose the spark of interest he once had for the Civil War. Johnny leaves history class knowing pretty much nothing.

But if he were homeschooled, his parents would take that spark and ignite it! They'd take him to the library and let him immerse himself in Civil War books, they'd have a Civil War museum day, they'd find anything they could to satisfy his longing to learn more about it. And then, when he'd soaked in all he wanted, he could go on to the next chapters and see if something there also sparked an interest. If not, then so be it. But at least he'd walk away from history class with a complete and impressive knowledge of the Civil War.

And if the interest persisted, perhaps he'd pursue a college degree that would enable him to be a Civil War historian or something, who knows?

Homeschooling gives kids lots of credit - it frees them to study what truly inspires them rather than plodding along with the rest of the class just because that's what classes do.

And we will be unschooling - which gives kids even more credit, because it's a method of homeschooling that allows the child to guide their interests rather than the adults telling them what their interests should be.

[bluecollardad]

Thank you for your thoughtful replies. I respect your reasons for homeschooling but to be perfectly honest, the shift toward homeschooling ( I see it as a movement that is rapidly growing) is a bit of a concern. While I think that sometimes there is really no other choice, I wonder if some parents choose to homeschool because of they really can't see what people other than themselves have to offer their kids.

I worry about parents that want that much control over what and how their child learns, how they interact and with whom.

As much as I love my parents, some really important childhood influences came from other adults, and not necessarily the ones my parents would have chosen.


I agree, parents who home school just to keep there kids from peer pressure, need to think it over.

[bluecollardad]

There are several reasons my wife and I decided to homeschool our five children. Among them:

4) The peer pressure is tremendous and we didn't want our children exposed to that..

ok what happens when they go out and get jobs or go to college.

[cay8099]

But if he were homeschooled, his parents would take that spark and ignite it! They'd take him to the library and let him immerse himself in Civil War books, they'd have a Civil War museum day, they'd find anything they could to satisfy his longing to learn more about it. And then, when he'd soaked in all he wanted, he could go on to the next chapters and see if something there also sparked an interest. If not, then so be it. But at least he'd walk away from history class with a complete and impressive knowledge of the Civil War.

I can see what you are saying here, but as a mother, who's children will most likely go to public school, couldn't I do the same thing? If my child were to come to me excited about a subject in school I would take the initiative to make sure that spark would have every chance to grow. I would help them learn more about the Civil War, or Egyptian history, or any subject their heart desired. Now I can definately see where homeschooling would be advantagous because you, in reality, would have more of a chance to see that spark in the first place. I guess all of us do what we feel is best for our children and pray we made the right decisions.

[War_Eagle]

ok what happens when they go out and get jobs or go to college.

You mean like they're doing right now?

Our two oldest children are already in college and Melody and Jason have both started their own businesses, so I guess that counts as a job.

Betsy is a partner with Melody in their business and James helps me with mine, so I suppose that counts as a job.

They're doing just fine.

[gostomskiart]

This has been a fascinating thread to me because I do like the idea of homeschooling a lot. I know, had my mother had the chance, she would have homeschooled me and quite honestly I think I would have benefited from it much more than school.

I have heard from other parents who homeschool about groups of parents (all who homeschool) who will get together for field trips and to learn about certain things as groups. I like this because it does give the child a chance to interact with other kids and learn from another parent.

It is still early for me (I'm pregnant with my first) so I have time to decide. I have thought about homeschooling through elementary or middle school then giving my child the decision to try reg. school later on, after learning and study habits have been instilled.

Anyway, I have really enjoyed reading everyones responses to this and their reasonings. Great thread!

[bluecollardad]

what about sports,band members,chess club,french club, etc.. I learned alot from my wrestling and football coaches. In sports you learn to rely on your team, you get to bond with other kids your age and have fun at the same time. a good coach and I had a couple over the years, teach you how to deal with peer pressure. Also you learn to trust your team mates. With debate club you interact with kids on your level as well as chess club.
I agree that public schools are lacking in educating our children, but why not send them to a public school and then allow them to take extra classes on line. Our children need to interact with other children. It helps with the transition into college and the work force.I understand that some people live out in BFE and it would require there children to travel to school. I still think you should put them in a sport or music class, even if you home school.

[gostomskiart]

bluecollar, you bring up great points. As I am still learning about all of this, I personally would want to enroll my child (if they were homeschooled) in extra-curricular activities. So I would want them to try sports, dance, art classes, etc. Because I agree that children do need that interaction with other kids.

The problem I see with sending them to public school then adding extra classes outside of that is time. I have a ton of neices and nephews and even the elementary kids are coming home with hours of homework each night. They barely have time to finish that, eat dinner and have a little down time before bed. To me, it seems too much, when are they allowed to play and use their imaginations?

[gostomskiart]

I thought I'd also add that I have a niece who has been homeschooled her entire school career up until this year. She is going into 7th grade and had been asking to go to school. My SIL is trying it this year. The thing is, this is a bright child, she is ahead of her class already so she has an advantage going into reg. school. She is also very excited to attend school (she is a social butterfly) but knows that it is a privilage so she must work hard and not slack which I think she will have no problem doing.

I like that my SIL has given her the chance at this age to try a different type of schooling and that she is so excited to attend. There are lots of middle schoolers who don't want to go to school at all and dread it so it is interesting to see this as a privilage instead of punishment. ;-)

[War_Eagle]

what about sports,band members,chess club,french club, etc.. I learned alot from my wrestling and football coaches. In sports you learn to rely on your team, you get to bond with other kids your age and have fun at the same time. a good coach and I had a couple over the years, teach you how to deal with peer pressure. Also you learn to trust your team mates. With debate club you interact with kids on your level as well as chess club.

Homeschooled children do play sports. Does the name Tim Tebow ring a bell?


Our children need to interact with other children.

Who says that homeschooled children don't interact with other children?


It helps with the transition into college and the work force.

Funny, my two oldest children were homeschooled and are in college and in the workforce and doing just fine.

[MR.MOM]

I think blue was only making a suggestion war. gostomskiart seemed to agree. I think you are taking what he said out of context. I am saying this because I agree 100% with blue on this. I feel that most home schooled kids are ahead in education compared to other children. at the same time I feel other kids are ahead of home schooled kids socialy. putting kids in extra-curriular activities helps erase that gap.

[War_Eagle]

I think blue was only making a suggestion war. gostomskiart seemed to agree. I think you are taking what he said out of context. I am saying this because I agree 100% with blue on this. I feel that most home schooled kids are ahead in education compared to other children. at the same time I feel other kids are ahead of home schooled kids socialy. putting kids in extra-curriular activities helps erase that gap.

And who says that homeschooled children aren't involved in extra-curricular activities?

[MR.MOM]

I did not say that. I as well as blue am only suggesting that kids SHOULD be involved in extras. I know that some kids are. I was suggesting this to those who are not. I see from other posts that your kids are, and I think that is great.

[bluecollardad]

I feel that most home schooled kids are ahead in education compared to other children. at the same time I feel other kids are ahead of home schooled kids socialy. putting kids in extra-curriular activities helps erase that gap.


I agree with you. that is what I was trying to say.

[bluecollardad]

thank you mr.mom,

I was only suggesting this. I understand that parents of home schooled kids put them into extra-curricular activities. I was just giving my opinion on this thread. Some people just take this as a statement towards them, when a comment was intended for the whole group. I see you have already picked up on that.

[gostomskiart]

Hi Mr.Mom and Blue, yes I definitely agree about the importance of socialization for children, especially if you decide to homeschool. I think one reason why I feel this can be done just fine is I grew up with my best friends being kids from my neighborhood (we all went to different schools). I was much shyer in school so didn't have the closeness as I did with my friends at home. I guess the bottom line is if I choose to homeschool I still want my child to have the experiences of interacting with other kids as well as having friends to share secrets with and play with etc. I think it takes work on the parents part to make sure that homeschooling doesn't become a social gap in their children's lives.

[ivegot4]

We homeschool our 4 kids, and there are several reasons. Here are a few.

Our school system is severely lacking. Not just our community, but the entire education system. It has become a crock-pot for propaganda and has completely left behind the goal of teaching our kids to think for themselves.

2 of our kids have severe food allergies and we did not feel safe sending them into an environment where we were not allowed to warn other parents because it "would violate OUR children's right to privacy"???? Still don't understand that one.

We love the freedom and opportunities that come with homeschooling. A copy of the Declaration of Independence is coming to town for just one day? We can drop what we are doing to go see it.

Our kids are excited about learning. Their public schooled friends don't understand why they would rather finish a lesson than come outside and play. They get to "play" all day while they are learning!

I love being the primary influences in our kids' lives. After all, we are the parents.

[hullj]

I have a 2 yr old and I know she isn't in school yet, but I am thinking about her future now. My husband and I are debating whether or not we will homeschool her. The reasons I want to homeshool is because I am a Christian and those values are very important to my family and we want to give our daughter all she will need to live her life(which is God's Word, our Manual), and I know that those values are not taught in a public school. I am responsible for my daughter and what she learns. Why would I put that huge responsibility in someone elses hands, especially when i don't know what they value in life. So yes, it might be a lack of trust in the school system. But at the same time, I don't want to shelter her so that when she moves out she doesn't know how to survive out there. I do believe Home schooling offers a way to balance all those things out now. They have groups where your child can still socialize and have playdates. Anything a public school can offer, homeshooling can pretty much offer it too. I am not against public school completely, but I KNOW what I will be teaching her. When people think of homeschooling, they think of hard core christian teaching and sheltering them from the world, but that is not true...well completely!! I want to provide Christian teaching!! It is all in the parents...what comes out of their child. I had friends that were homeschooled and they are now all traveling the world and they are missionaries. They are wonderful people doing God's work and meeting people everywhere! All I can say is that there are pros and cons to both public schools and homeschooling, and each family has to figure out which would work best for their child/children, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with homeshooling. Anyways, this is my reason why I want to home school. Plus, I get to hang out with my little princess!

[MM1989]

Hi everyone. First of all I would just like to say that as a child I was homeschooled one thing that I can tell you personally was that after being out of school for so long when my parents tried to put me into other activities I didn't even want to be a part of them. I myself grew away from the very thought of going out there and making new friends. It's a big debate for me wether or not I'm going to put my child through that, even though (I hope to god my daughter isn't anything like me in so many ways) times have changed and things are just so much different now. Hopefully this helps.

[dcroberts1]

I absolutely laugh at the whole "socialization" debate. Most of the people that I know who home school, and I know several, do so in order to provide their children with a higher level of socialization. It isn't about sheltering or controlling. It is about providing the best possible environment to grow up in. I don't want a math flunky tutoring my child in Algebra anymore than I want some of these poorly raised youth setting the example of behavior in a class room that my child has to sit in day after day. No, I in no way meant to imply that public school children are poorly raised. But if you spent time in the average public classroom of 30 or so children, most of you would probably raise eyebrows at more than a few. With home school, I can have my children in a variety of "after school" activities in order to have "friend time". It is also very easy to discontinue an activity if I feel that inappropriate behavior is often displayed there. I shelter myself in the same way. If I'm at a sporting event or such and anyone near me has a vile mouth, I leave. There is no reason to immerse ourselves in immoral culture, if we have a mind to shun it. There is no reason to force children to endure it day after day.

[War_Eagle]

I absolutely laugh at the whole "socialization" debate. Most of the people that I know who home school, and I know several, do so in order to provide their children with a higher level of socialization. It isn't about sheltering or controlling. It is about providing the best possible environment to grow up in. I don't want a math flunky tutoring my child in Algebra anymore than I want some of these poorly raised youth setting the example of behavior in a class room that my child has to sit in day after day. No, I in no way meant to imply that public school children are poorly raised. But if you spent time in the average public classroom of 30 or so children, most of you would probably raise eyebrows at more than a few. With home school, I can have my children in a variety of "after school" activities in order to have "friend time". It is also very easy to discontinue an activity if I feel that inappropriate behavior is often displayed there. I shelter myself in the same way. If I'm at a sporting event or such and anyone near me has a vile mouth, I leave. There is no reason to immerse ourselves in immoral culture, if we have a mind to shun it. There is no reason to force children to endure it day after day.

I agree. I really don't get the "homeschooled children aren't well socialized" argument. Why do they assume that socialization in the classroom must be better than socialization in the real world.

Last year, my mother hosted a supper for her students and, because I lectured to her classes several times, I was invited.

These were about sixty people in their early twenties and I was shocked at how difficult it was to hold a conversation with them. These were the people who should be the evidence for the argument that government school children are so well socialized but here they were, and they had absolutely no idea how to behave in a social setting.

[wright1212]

This topic is a HOT issue for me. I stronly agree with both sides, is this possible?
OK Let me state my con first. I see many parents totally unqualified with the wrong intentions homeschooling. Selfish reasons for themselves are SO wrong, many dont even look at their local schooling options, which I think should be required. You might be in the best school ever! By qualifies yes I do think college should be required, but there are great parents who can w.o college. I only think its a must for highschool-so you can share your experience of college. I wish more states had more requirements to ensure children are learning what they need to be an adult-like the social skills.
OK NEXT my pro. I only read the first page of post but several are doing what I consider the right way to homeschool. Their children are involved with groups and activities w/ others. They go out and do hands on learning- and several said they listen to their children and what they want.
I will homeschool my son next year when my husband graduates. BUT my son has autism/seizures/adhd. Special Ed is a joke and makes small progress. He needs 1 on 1 teaching, plus I can take him into the world and focus on life skills he needs! My daughter I dont know- i dont think I will homeschool her because she is SOO social and wants to be with groups of kids. But I am considering a 1/2 day Kindergarten so i can do more hands on w/ her. OH and I feel VERY qualified to teach my son, I have a M.Ed. and I teach special ed for colleges. So I have lots of tools, resources, and exp w. his special needs.
So my personal reasons are: 1. special ed for my town stinks (i spend time there watching and talk every day) 2. My son has special learning needs that I can do 3. I can teach him things they cant simply because we can go out! 4. I have all intention of putting him in activities or groups that he can do, but we have to find what he can do, dont know yet. (hopefully boy scouts, i think they have to take him right?)

[dcroberts]

I think this topic is a HOT issue for most people.
Personally, I feel that the government has no right to be pushing its current agenda down the throats of our children. That will happen in any public school, no matter how wonderful that school is. The price that I must pay to have the freedom to raise my own children is to allow other parents that same freedom. There are some folks out there that shouldn't be parents, let's be honest about that. However, if I start telling them what they should or should not be doing, then someone will look at me and start dictating to me. (Yes, there are very obvious abusive situations that should be stopped- home schooling in and of itself is not abusive!)
I will home school all five of my children all the way through their school years. They do take "outside" classes, based on interest. I have very little college, and do not feel that any should be required, even through the high school years. Higher education sometimes has a tendency to make people feel superior to others, capability wise. Just because a person has a degree or fancy letters behind their name, does not insure that they will be a better teacher than a person who is willing to learn right along side their child. Resources and tools are easily accessible these days.
As for Boy Scouts (start with Cub Scouts), it can be wonderful for children with special needs. As with any program, it all depends on the quality of the current volunteers in your area.