View Full Version : Love my son soooooo much
01-24-2008, 11:45 AM
This is probably going to sound strange, but I think I love my child more than my husband. I can deal without seeing him for a few days but I simply cannot handle being away from my son for more than 24 hours! My therapist says this is really unhealthy, but I can't help it.
02-05-2008, 11:48 AM
Don't be so hard on yourself. For one thing, your son is dependent on you and your husband can (presumably) take care of himself. If you are away from your husband for a few days, you know that he is doing well, and that he understands that he will see you soon.
Babies and small children need us more for basic things, and if we are away from them we worry that they feel abandoned because they are too little to understand. I think what you are feeling is a very strong maternal instinct and that is a good thing.
I'd be more worried about you if you said you couldn't go 24 hours without seeing your husband.
02-07-2008, 09:56 PM
I think you love them both sooooo much, just in different ways. I always tell my husband that I love him 100. It means 100%. I love Thomas, my baby 100%, too. It's just on different scales.
I mean, how can you compare the sweet soft feel and smell of a baby's face to the oily, scratchy, rough face your hubby has.... even under the best of circumstances. It's just different, not more or less. AND IT IS TOTALLY NORMAL!!
02-18-2008, 03:57 PM
I agree with Sarahdennisscott! I think your therapist needs to talk to her!! :) Don't be so hard on yourself love is love!!
02-18-2008, 05:18 PM
I agree with all of the other moms and I feel the same way. Don't worry it's normal.
02-18-2008, 05:50 PM
While you may love your baby more than your husband, your baby will eventually leave your arms and your husband will not. Get your husband involved as much as possible with raising the baby. The more he helps the more you'll love him.
02-18-2008, 10:33 PM
how old is your son? I used to feel that way about my kids when they were "new". Now that they are older, I love them even more every day I know them...but the newness wears off and you get more used to those intense feelings of overwhelming love. I remember hearing a fire drill in the hospital right after having my first child. I looked straight at my husband and said, "If that's a real fire, you get her out and you leave me to fend for myself." He said, "Would you leave me?" and I replied, "In a heartbeat."
I love my husband, but nothing can prepare you for the crazy intense feeling of love for your new baby...nothing! Your therapist misunderstood you. I used to say I would die to save my husband, but then I had my kids. I would gladly, without hesitation, give my life for any one of them. But I would think first before giving it for him, because my kids need their mom! Our moms tried to tell us that we would understand what they felt for us when we had kids of our own, remember?
The actress who plays Carrie on "King of Queens" was interviewed shortly after the birth of her first child, a boy. The interviewer said something about motherhood or bonding or something and she said, "I used to think I loved my husband. Then I had my son. Now I look at my husband and say, 'I f***ing hate you compared to what I feel for him!'"
It's normal. It will pass.
02-20-2008, 01:49 AM
-- i feel for you,Ilove both of my boys so much and don't get me wrong I do love my DH but I love my DS to the highest level!
02-21-2008, 06:40 PM
Is your therapist a woman? If so, does she actually have children of her own? I think your feelings are normal and if I were you, I wouldn't waste another minute worrying about it!
02-24-2008, 04:43 AM
Don't feel like there is anything wrong. My husband and I had FINALLY gotten a night alone at a hotel and the only thing I could think about was whether my kids were ok and how much I missed their little faces and Jacks little cry. Silly huh? It is just that you love your babies and they do depend on you. There is a special love in your heart that only your kids hold just like there is a special place in your heart that your husband holds. I don't think your therapist is right to make you feel there is anything wrong with the way you feel.
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