06-09-2008, 01:45 PM
Okay Iím new here, but I thought this would be a good place to talk with other moms about stuff. Iím a 24 year old step mom of two boys 13 and 7 and mother to my daughter born in August. I do great with the 13 year old, partly because my husband and I donít see him a lot due to how far away he lives and the fact that he has his own teenage life to attend to. And my 10 month old daughter I do great with. She is the best baby in the world and I love being with her. Itís my 7 year old step son I feel like a horrible parent to. My husband raised him pretty much by himself from his birth until he was 2 years old. Then his mother who had abandoned him as a baby pops back in the picture and their judge in the divorce gave them joint custody with the child living with her. Basically long story short, she had a boyfriend and had two kids with him and subjected my step son to drugs, drinking, neglect and abuse. We finally got him back at the age of 4 and she disappeared off the radar again. Well we had our work cut out for us. She had him in some of his most formative years so the damage she had done was great. He is an amazing child though. Incredibly smart, full of love and cute as a button. But weíve had behavior issues with him. Everything from potty training to being socialy stunted as his teachers have wanted to call it. We have tried very hard to do what is best for him etc. And I think weíve done a pretty good job of helping him adjust these past 3 years. But there always feels like there is some uphill climb with him. Over the past year heís gotten worse about his lying, talking back, pushing our buttons and trying to manipulate things to get what he wants. Itís like he has an evil twin. And I try very hard to deal with him in a calm and loving manner, but sometimes I feel like I just want to snap. Over the weekend he got into trouble and just became stubborn and very disrespectful when I tried to talk to him about it and it didnít help that Iíve been feeling incredibly stressed out anyway. But unfortunately I wound up losing my temper and yelling at him(rather incoherently I think). I just felt horrible and wound up crying afterwards. I felt like Iíd stooped to his mothers level. How do you keep from losing your sanity and keep your stress and your ďevil twinĒ in check?