View Full Version : too close/too far
05-19-2008, 08:37 PM
Hi! Well in a previous post I'd asked on how to convince my fiancee to have another baby,well I'm not really sure what changed his mind(I left the conversation alone,it's been amonth or so)but he did.I am glad that he has changed his mind but I am really undecisive on when we should start trying?
My son,Logan just turned a year on the 9th and when we tried for him,well I got pregnant the first time so I'm anticipating it to not take that long for this one.I may be wrong it might take long,but I want to be sure that all of up including Logan are ready to have another baby in the house.I guess I'm just looking for some other moms/dads experience with the timing of their second child,whether it was too close or too far? Thanks
05-19-2008, 09:45 PM
It was the same way with my first one. It wasn't a month off of BC and I was pregnant. But with my 2nd one, it was 8 months before we were preg. with him. And I can't honestly tell you how long it took to get pregnant this time, but I know it was more than a couple of months. It just sort of depends, would you rather take the chance and have them be closer in age, or does it matter if they are a little further in age if you don't get pregnant right away? There are 27 months between my first two, and there will be 32-33 months between my second and third. If we go for a fourth (girl, hopefully!) then it will be longer than that, just because we have a lot going on right now in our life besides our kids! :) But so far I have loved having my first two boys this close in age.
05-22-2008, 04:16 PM
Thanks,myboysmom! I appreciate your response.I think my problem is I know I want it but it wasn't that long ago logan came into this world(I remember)and I'm scared to go through all the good and the bads of pregnancy!:)When I told my fiancee about your post and that it took 8 months,I guess we never had thought of it taking long...So it definitely gave us something to think about,so again thanks.
05-23-2008, 02:02 PM
I wonder if I had of said I'm 16 and wanting another baby if more moms would be willing to share their experiences on bringing their second child in?
05-23-2008, 02:17 PM
Probably, because that offers a "drama" or "conflict" and we as Americans, or probably humans, crave it! :)
05-23-2008, 02:27 PM
05-25-2008, 04:40 PM
i'm 18 and im trying to have a baby. haha. i wonder if you'r right? lets wait for the drama. haha.
05-29-2008, 07:42 PM
Well I'm scared sh**less but,We are going to start trying!I hope I'm ready!All my friends think that i'll have no problems,I just wish that I had the same confidence in me that they have.I guess I was prepared for the idea of one and now that we are talking 2 I've got a better idea of all the work the first one took,I'm scared to think of the work the 2 will take.You know I'm probably worrying for nothing and everything will be fine,I guess we won't find out until it happens...
05-29-2008, 09:00 PM
:)Don't you love friends? They talk you into stuff b/c they don't have to go through it! LOL Two is way more fun, but a lot more work! Don't let that scare you though. The only thing you need to decide if you already know you want another one, is how far. 2 years? 5 years? I will tell you, the only thing I feel guilty about here lately is that I feel like I spend more time with my 2 year old than my almost 5 year old. He's been in preschool 2 mornings a week and I've been babysitting at home a few days a week as well. I think b/c I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant with our 3rd, and we made the decision to send our oldest to an all day junior kindergarten this fall, I feel like the summer is closing in on me, and I've only got so much time before I "lose" my 1st baby. I'm rambling, I know. :) Thanks for listening, and Congratulations on trying for a new addition!
05-30-2008, 12:12 PM
i think it all depends on what you yourself feels is too close or too far apart.
my sister and i are 10 and a half months apart. when we were younger.. we HATED IT. dressed as twins all the time, no one could tell us apart.. but now that im 26 and shes 25.. we LOVE it.
my stepson is 14.. and my son is going to be a year old.. so tehre's a HUGE difference between them.. and my next one will be in a year or 2.. as per doctors orders.... but i dont thin i'd want them so close together.. iw ant my first one to be able to help me a bit with the second one.. does that make sense?
so like i said.. it's really up to you in the end, as to how you feel.
I'm pregnant with my first so I'll not be that much help but my neices are 8,5, and 2. I think my sister planned this perfectly as by the time the next baby arrived the previous one was out of diapers. personally I'd want my baby out of diapers before getting pregnant as i've found I'm very sensitive to smells. I baby sat for my sister a couple months ago and was changing a poopy diaper. no sooner had I opened the diaper than I was running to the toilet leaving a barely two year old lying on the floor giggling and covered in crap. I was so worried she'd get up and run through the house leaving a trail behind her, but thank god she just laid there till I got done. I went back holding my nose and told her she's stinky and she just held her little belly and laughed at me! As for the lack of drama in your post, I agree if there were some drama you'd have more posts.
06-02-2008, 09:18 PM
Well I wanted to wait until my son was 2 to start trying I was thinking about 3 years difference would be perfect!!! Well to my surprise yesterday I took a test and I am pregnant! My son is 15 months so they will be 23 months apart. Not too close but a little closer than I wanted.
06-02-2008, 10:36 PM
Thanks for the replies girls!congratulations to you scubachick,I wish you all the luck with the pregnancy!
As for me,well we will see we've been trying this month so by the end we'll know if something took:) we got lucky the first time so,I guess I'm hoping it does this time to(wishful thinking).I'm still a little unsure if they are still going to be too close but my fiancee and I have kinda layed out thing we want to do over the next 5 years and the sooner we have the next child the better to execute those plans.Thanks again for the replies!
06-02-2008, 10:54 PM
Ah, plans. . . ;) I think that's going to be a plus to our deciding to have our kids close together. Planning things, like family vacations!! This summer I'm pregnant and the boys are getting bigger, but not always big enough, so it definitely limits what you can do. I'm so excited for 5 years from now when all 3 will be big enough to do things!! But, who knows, by then I might have gotten brave (or stupid) enough to try for that little girl! LOL
06-03-2008, 08:50 AM
Plans-yup like getting married,(lol)we had a date set for July07 dress/rings already bought(one of my bridesmaids even bought her dress)then in july 06 we found out we were expecting! So,needless to say getting married like 8 weeks after baby is kinda crazy.(my opinion)so we cancelled.When we discussed doing it again (getting married):) We opted to go away and have the honeymoon at the same time,Like Jamaica.So we are going in feb10(yr)and if we'd have a baby now he/she would be 1 and Logan would be 3 but if we waited until after Logan would be 4 by the time it was born and I kinda feel that's to far.I'm an only child and my fiance is 1 of 3,brother 36 sister 27 charles 26;so him and his sister are really close(and if his mom could do it I should be able to;lol).
About the girl,that's too funny!That's pretty much why I want to have another one,now I have accepted that I could have a boy as long as he/she is healthy that's really all that matters.You might think I'm crazy but I kinda did some web surfing looking up gender selection stuff:)and I found some pretty interesting stuff! Anyways,I have done the things they recommend(basic stuff,I didn't pay for it all)so I'll let you know if it works!Thanks for listening to my ramble:)
06-23-2008, 10:42 AM
I currently have a 10 month old baby girl at home and I am about 5 months pregnant with my second. Um, as far as timing goes, I believe that there is no right or wrong time to have a baby. If you want one, just go for it. I have to say being pregnant is harder if you have a little one to chase after all day. You don't get the luxury to sleep or hang out when you want too. But I am really happy that my babies will be so close in age. I am hoping it will make them closer. Plus, you get to get all the baby stuff out of the way, diapers and such and then move on to the next thing. I think having kids close is way better than having them farther apart. Its gonna be hard for a couple of years but then I anticipate it getting easier. Hope this helps.
08-07-2008, 12:40 AM
My Husband and SIL are 16 months apart and they are best friends. Even though Alicia was only 7 months old when Kiel was conceived it worked out great. They are so much closer to each other than they are to their oldest sibling who's 2-3 years older.
In my family my younger sister and I are 2.8 years apart and my younger brother and I are almost exactly 8 years apart. I honestly have always gotten along better with my brother than my sister. My sister and brother are 5.4 years apart and they do not get along AT ALL!
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