can we have more

[harrisjm]

hi, we have had 3 miscarriages, one before my son the the other two in the last 6 months. i have read something that say's if you have 3 or more there might be something wrong. but my ob says there nothing wrong and wont do any testes on me. it's really hard for me right now, i see pregnant women and new babys every where, the last miscarriage we had it really hit me hard, i thought it was going to be ok, then out of know where i started to bleed iam still not over it. its been months. i just wanted to know if anyone else has gone though this too. having 3 of them, iam scared we cant have any. we had a lot of problems with our son, he was born ok, but the pregnancy was very hard on me. should i see another doc? and get another say? or just wait it out. i dont think i can handle another miscarriage, mentally. i just need some help on this. my husband knows my feelings but theres only so much he can do for me, i need some help from other women.

[Angelsrose12]

I would definatly see another OB. You may not get the news you want to hear, but if the news is bad, at lease you will be able to seek the support to get through it and come up with possible alternatives. I wondered it your insurance did not cover the tests and that is why the OB advised against them for the time being, particularly since you have given birth to a baby previously. Rather than refusing treatment, your OB should let you know if insurance does not cover the tests or does not cover them completely and give you the option of covering the costs yourself. I wish you luck in the future and suggest you also seek some therapy to help you move past these tragic miscarrages. You may never forget or fully get over them, but you may get some closure and the ability to move on with your life in a positive direction.

[excited4mommyhood]

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.

Well, I am no doctor, but I have a friend who had at least 4 miscarriages before the birth of her son (now 6). I say at least because she is certain that there was one that was kind of like a chemical pregnancy. They were over a period of 3 years. She has gone on to have 2 absolutely gorgeous children, a 6 year old son and a 4 year old daughter.

She was eventually diagnosed with a low progesterone (sp?) level, which was diagnosed by a SECOND doctor after 3 miscarriages. That new doctor couldnt believe that her original doc hadn't performed the tests.

I would have to FIRMLY agree with AngelsRose -- GET A NEW DOC! I know that sometimes insurance and other stuff gets in the way, but it should be your first move!

I am personally TTC, and I also just changed doctors after about a full year of complaining to my other doc about irregular periods (new for me, after 15+ years of being a freakin CLOCK!) and some other minor issues...she always said that I had nothing to worry about, I was young, blah blah blah, but never followed up with tests or even asked relevant questions! I was fed up and saw another doc 2 weeks ago, and I've already had 2 rounds of blood work and may very well have a minor hormonal imbalance that will relatively easy to remedy. Of course, if I'd known this before, it would have been taken care of sooner, and I might be a little closer to starting a family!!!

You may not get the answers that you want, like AngelsRose said, but your doc sounds like she is doing you a disservice by not taking care of your requests. Best of luck to you and your family!

[big-mouth-burgher]

I agree with getting a second opinion from another OB in a different practice.

You should also go to therapy or find a support group - you OB should be able to give you info on miscarriage support groups, if not check with your hospital. I am a member of a support group for women whose babies died as infants - it helps alot thought the pain never goes away.

[kare.bear]

If you need some encouragement, I recommend visiting this blog: http://julia.typepad.com/julia/

Julia had miscarriages numbering in the double digits and now has three beautiful children. Her blog has really been an encouragement to me...

I am not related to Julia nor am I her bosum buddy, I just think she's a great source for any woman dealing with miscarriage or who has been TTC and is getting discouraged. Start with her archives back in 2004 and work your way forward. She will make you laugh and cry :)

[harrisjm]

thanks guys for your help, iam trying to find a new ob now, and iam going to ask about the test. some times its just get's really hard because all my family thinks it's a good thing we miscarriaged, they dont think i need any more then one! because iam 20, it really hurt when they said that, i dont know how to tell them that we want more, and to say out of it.

[rrburtt]

I have had three miscarriages as well. My Fertility doctor did a few tests and found out I had a immune disorder where my body saw the pregnancies as foreign and would attack the fetus. When I got pregnant after the 3rd miscarriage, he put me on a low dose of prednisone to suppress it. He also put me on prometrium, which helped boost my levels of progesterone. I had a problem free pregnancy and my daughter was born healthy. I would see another doctor in another practice who can do some simple tests to try and figure out the cause.