3 y/o that is "rebelling"

[NinjACupcake13]

My 3 y/o is exceptionally well behaved for a child her age. No matter where I take her she is on her best behavior and rarely gives me a problem. Except at my moms. When we are there for longer than a day or two she refuses to listen to anything my fiance or I have to say to her. She does things she knows she is not allowed to do. And even worse when she comes back home she believes the rules still don't apply to her. She gets completely unruly. She won't listen, breaks things, and gets bossy and nasty with me. I said something to my mom about it and she said that it is because my daughter is rebelling because all my fiance and I do is yell at her. We will yell at her if she doesn't listen the first 10 times we tell her something and she is doing something that will eventually get her hurt, but we don't full on scream at her. Her only punishment is time out and it works everywhere except my moms house. I think the problem is my mom completely under minds everything I am teaching my daughter and all my rules right in front of her. She told me she sees nothing wrong with my daughters behavior. She has also told me several times that I am a bad parent right in front of my daughter. I am a stay at home mom and have been since my daughter was born. My mom doesn't seem to understand that the only reason my daughter acts like this is because of being at her house. She thinks it's a normal for her to misbehave and act out at home and for me to constantly have to punish her. It's not. Normally she only needs time out once every other week or so. I rarely have to tell her to do something more than once. And we spend a lot of time together. We play board games, watch movies, and play with her toys. Of course she has her own time too. And occasionally she will visit with her friends. So I don't understand what I am doing wrong here or why my mom is saying these things and insulting my parenting skills in such a bad manor. I need advice on how to handle my moms behavior and to make my daughter understand that my moms place is no different than any other place and there are still rules to be followed.

[racerfamily4@yahoo.com]

Sounds like your mother is the problem. Sometimes our parents feel like our children are their second chance. My cousin has this same problem. I told her tht she needs to sit down with her mother and have a long conversation about boundaries. Your mother is over stepping those boundaries. She as no right to degrade you infront of your daughter and you should not put up with it. Of course she acts out when she she gets home, grandma spoiles her and little kids get used to that very fast. ANyways if your mother has a problem staying within boundaries, then you need to take some space away from her. I hope that helps.

[big-mouth-burgher]

IMO - you mom is the problem. Your daughter is your child not your mother's - she raised you how she wanted to and now it is your turn to raise your child as you see fit. If your mother can not understand that and follow your rules for your daughter and show you the respect that you deserve as the mother of her grandchild, then you need to stay away as much as possible. When your mother can behave then she can see her grandchild. Sometimes you just have to be a witch and lay down the law when your child is involved.

[mort20]

I think being scolded in front of your child should be avoided so that you wont lose your authority figure over her. Dear, keep your focus on how you want to raise your child and leap over those obstacles aka your mother (sorry :))

[MomRenee]

I agree with the other posters. Seems like you need to break away from your mom a while, for your daughters sake, and for your sake. You shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behaviour, from your daughter, or your mother. Once your mother and daughter realize that they haven't seen each other in a while and they bring it up.....explain to them what you are doing and why you are doing it.....maybe they will understand and change. Good luck!