20mo.old with anger issues

[sashkag]

I stay home with my daughter, and she is the best baby ever.She just started expressing some anger- brand new development. she's our only child,so far, and she has all the attention in the world.she does good with discipline, and listens very good (for her age) when being told to do someting-pick up her toys, be gentle with the puppy,....- the one thing she can't deal with is being told NO. and i know first thing that comes to mind is spoiled, but she's far from it.
the second she hears the word no- she starts growling, and biting her fingers, there r times when she'll throw her bottle at me, hit me.especially enbarassing if it happens in public.
i try to calm her down, but a lot of times i have to let her go thru the motion,everything else seems to get her more upset.-I'm a very relaxed, go with the flow type of person, never even raise my voice. i don't know where she could be getting this from. is it a stage she's going thru or should i talk to her dr about it. any advise or oppinion is welcomed

[hardworkinmama]

It sounds as though she is frustrated by the fact that you are telling her no and this is just the way that she shows her frustration. The first thing I would do is try to limit the things that you say no to. It's not about letting her have her way but if it is something that is not going to hurt her or someone else, then what is the harm in letting her do/have it. Next thing I would try to do is give her other ways to show frustration. Let her know that it is okay that she feels this way, but instead of hitting mommy, maybe she could have a pillow that designated the "frustration pillow". Just finding other ways to express herself should help. Good luck!