Cursing at school

[tsmom]

Hi all. I got a call from my son's school today letting me know that he's been cursing at school. He's only 7 so I was shocked! They said he is exceeding their expectiations in all other areas, but that doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. He knows he's not allowed to use curse words and wouldn't dare use them at home. He has mentioned a few of his buddies doing it lately...is he just trying to fit in? Any input would be much appreciated! Thanks!

[jenn_0629]

I would say that he probably thinks it makes him sounds like an adult. My little brother is 8 and I have heard him let a few slip here and there, but he doesn't slip up with my parents. There really isn't much you can do about him cussing at school, you just need to let him know what the consequences will be if you continue to get reports from the school about his foul language.

[myboysmom]

Do what you can to nip it in the bud. It sounds like you are trying already. :) I was at the local park yesterday with my 4 and 2 year old. There were kids of all ages playing, toddlers up to 6th grade. I knew who about 1/2 or so of them were. I was appalled to hear the language they were using!!! These were kids, some who couldn't have been older than 3rd grade calling each other "manwhore" and "fatass"! I didn't hear anything after that, b/c they moved to a different part of the park, but if one more disgusting word had come out of any of their mouths I was going to remind them that there are "Children" here, and if they want to talk like that, go home. I don't remember really "trying out" cuss words until about 6th grade or so. But, that's been 17 years ago. . . . God I'm getting old. LOL

[autymsmommy]

Something that worked for me when my little one started experimenting with curse words, instead of punishing HER for saying them, I allowed her to punish me when I said them. For whatever reason, this seemed to get through to her that if mommy was being put into a timeout for saying a word, then OBVIOUSLY it must be a very bad thing to do...lol. Hey it's weird but it worked completely. According to her teacher, she regularly tells other children in the class to go to time out when they curse, and recently tried to do the same to the phys ed teacher when she stubbed her toe and muttered a curse word. Autym went over to said teacher and told her that while she understood that she got hurt she should use a word like "sugar" instead of "sh*t". The school finds it hilarious and helpful, I on the other hand just hope it doesnt bite me in the butt one day. But it works for now!

[lou]

I think part of it is them trying to fit in and be cool and also trying to grow up and act adult like in some instances. at that age they know their limits and are testing them to see what they can get away with. My fiance and I have had this problem with my eldest step son who's nine. He definately knows better and when he slips that's it, it's straight to bed ( he comes down for dinner but then goes right back). We do allow them to read, do puzzles, or other quiet solitary activities until bed time depending on the severity of the crime and the severity also dictates the length of time they remain there (usually no longer than an hour or two of quiet alone time). We found that a time out for a minute for every year of their age does no good. It may work for really young children but they don't really care about sitting on their bed for 7 or 9 minutes, so this strategy works for them. They hate to be alone. Our reasoning for this is they are not toddlers and know very well what is and is not appropriate behavior and if they do not behave appropriately they do not get to socialize with us or any one else until they do display appropriate behavior. This rule applies for all inappropriate behaviors, temper tantrums ( yes they still occur on occasion but they're different from a toddlers TT, we always explain it's okay to be angry just not to throw a tantrum), fighting physically(they know how to use words to resolve conflict and if they can't do it they know to come to us) ETC. However we have not heard of him doing this at school.
I would stress the importance of your child being himself rather than just following the crowd and also be sure to follow through with whatever disciplinary action you take every time. We haven't heard a curse word in months, not since the eldest repeated a line from transformers, and they rarely behave inappropriately. Them fighting is probably the most frequent issue and that's to be expected between brothers that close in age.

[tsmom]

Thank you all so much for your responses and advice. There has been no repeat of the incident since...and hopefully things will stay that way! =)

[Kathygreen8888]

From your last post, kudos to you that your son is no longer cursing at school. However, if he does it again, you might want to check out Nogginpower2. They have excellent readings on DIscipline and Better Social Skills. I checked out this website, and I realized how informative it was. You could also check out another interesting website called radKIDS.org. They provide excellent discipline programs, in order to train your child to control his or her self as well as be more porductive. Check out these websites if you must. I hope they help. Thank you and best of luck.

[helloworld]

If it makes you feel better my daughter knows how to use the f word as an adjective, noun, adverb, interjection, pronoun, and verb and that there are over 1000 forms of the word. She says she learned them from the internet and promises to not use them at school. I think that kids think its "adult" since we use them, shouldn't we punishing ourselves then?