View Full Version : Minimal I needed from shower
11-14-2009, 07:14 PM
I am not trying to sound selfish or ungrateful in anyway but I had my shower last weekend. It was wonderful all the people that showed up including my aunt who surprised me last min, my mom and sister and nephew all flew in, it was great. The problem lies with we only got a few minor things we needed. My mom got us the travel system we registered for, my friend got us the pack n play and my sister the travel bed. Everything else is clothes and not even plain oneies. We only got 2 packs of diapers (not including the 4 boxes mom and aunt bought while they were here) and 2 packs of wipes.
We are first time parents so we have nothing we need. I have been to plenty of baby showers in my life and hosted a couple and I don't remember any of them not get anything on their registry. Not a monitor, not any of the bedding, we ended up with a couple of heavy blankets and few receiving blankets. We did get a number of gift cards and I am thankful for those as well as the things we did get but I can't help but be a little disappointed in the lack of necessities we didn't get that I registered for. With the exception of the travel system, the pack n play and the travel bed and the receiving blankets nothing else was from the registry. We ended up with 6 bottles that I may need to return because they are glass and I am not sure I want to use glass bottles.
Besides just needing to tell someone else because my husband doesn't seem to get it, he says "well, we got the gift cards we can just go buy it ourselves." The gift cards only cover so much.
My husband has been out of work for a month and everyone knows he has been out of work so things are really tight for us and about to get even tighter with the baby coming. I guess I thought with our situation and those knowing about it and knowing it's our first child there would have been more thought put into the gifts.
Has this happened to anyone else?
11-14-2009, 07:24 PM
I didn't register for my baby showers. I just asked people for clothes, diapers and wipes. We purchased our own car seat to be sure we got what we wanted. As long as you have a car seat, diapers, and some clothes, you can get by. Everything else is just icing on the cake.
Remember too, that every one is hurting financially right now, not just you.
Also, just because you register that doesn't guarantee that people are going to buy it. It is their decision to buy what ever they see fit. If you don't like it, return it.
11-14-2009, 09:25 PM
I second Big Mouth. Also, hit up consignment shops and garage sales for the other big ticket items that you feel you need. When it comes to baby stuff there is nothing wrong with second-hand items. Your baby doesn't need a nursery to rival a celebrities, just a warm bed to sleep in, some warm clothes to wear, good breastmilk or formula to drink, and a mom and dad to love them. Everything will work out just fine, I promise!
11-14-2009, 09:32 PM
also try craigslist.com i got most of my things from friends and family, second hand, and the rest i got off craigslist or real cheap (just make sure to meet in public!). at least you got the big main things from the shower. and try not to be upset about it, some people dont even get babyshowers
11-15-2009, 04:02 PM
I understand your need to complain. I was kinda upset that I didn't get most of the things I needed either. I had two showers though. One thrown by my mother and the other thrown by my eboyfriend's mother. I put a couple outfits on the list, cuz I knew people would buy it whether I wanted it or not. The necessities I got? I got them all from my mother's shower. The other shower was clothes, clothes, clothes... and some books. I had to get my own blankets, my own diapers, my own stroller, etc. With all the clothes they had bought, they COULD have used the money they used on the 5-6 outfits to get something I needed. I didn't complain though, and when my ex's mom said, "You can return them if you want to." it just made me mad. Cuz the tone of her voice just irradiated that I was unappreciative. Which wasn't the truth. I just didn't NEED baby clothes. But I accepted them and kept them just to make sure there were no hurt feelings.
11-15-2009, 04:51 PM
I understand other people are hurting for money too and I am not asking anyone to go out and buy us hundreds of dollars worth of stuff. I am not saying there is anything wrong with second hand items either and have yet to refuse if someone wants to loan me baby clothes etc. I have no problem using second hand items.
What I am trying to say Saphira said it best, those items that we did recieve people could have used that money to get soemthing off the registry especially some of the needed items.
I just find it strange since we do not know what we are having that people would buy so many clothes instead of the needed items.
Maybe I just need to complain about it because I was expecting one way and it went the opposite.
11-16-2009, 08:58 AM
Take everything back and get what you need.
11-16-2009, 09:38 AM
I always find it insulting when people EXPECT me to buy off the registry. If I'm buying a gift it is personal from ME. I want to choose it, I don't want to be told what to choose! If you don't like it, feel free to return it with the gift receipt. That's what it's for. But never EXPECT your friends and family to only choose what's on the registry. The registry is a suggestion, not a command, so don't treat it that way. Thank them kindly for the gift(s) and then return and exchange as you see fit.
11-16-2009, 11:41 AM
I can see your frustration. When we had the twins, we got a ton of very thoughtful gifts. Most of them were handmade blankets. The only problem was that we ended up with 10 (yes, ten) sets of handmade blankets. We did the craigslist thing, and secondhand stores for some of the bigger items, and my mom really pitched in and bought a ton of clothes. So it worked out, but I know how you feel. I was extremely touched by everyone's thought and effort that went into all the beautiful quilts and crocheted blankets. I felt so selfish thinking that we had too many blankets and no monitors, clothes, stroller, etc. It worked out, though. :)
11-16-2009, 12:11 PM
I would be frustrated too, I would also return alot of those clothes (especially if they are the cutesie, not at all practical type) and get afew things that you need. I really don't understand why people buy things not on the registry, especially things like little ruffly dresses and newborn 4 piece outfits. No, they are not obligated to buy anything on there, but when you know that there are specific items that your friend, relative, etc would like, why not go with what you know will really be needed?
11-16-2009, 12:33 PM
I replied earlier and it didn't post. Here is the jist of what I wrote. Like others said things are tight everwhere, plus the items you are mentioning are all relatively expensive. I understand you wanted specific items, but it isn't your guests responsibility to make sure you are prepared for this child. (Just a fact, not trying to be critical...I understand things are tough.) I think you should be grateful for what you got and return items you didn't want if you can figure out where they came from. I often buy clothes for people I don't know very well. If I am not super close to someone I try to stay in the $25 range. It is my rule, because they add up quickly. If I go to the registry and can't find anything on the registry that is in my range or I can only buy a pack of receiving blankets for the mom to be, I decide to not purchase off the registry. It is easy to find coupons and deals on clothes. For example, recently I had to buy a gift for my husbands-cousins-wife...who I have met 3-4 times. I bought her 5 awesome outfits from childrens place thanks to coupons, sales and a little time searching. I did this for under $25..and as most people know outfits from there are typically $25 a piece. I felt like it was a nice gift, in the range I wanted to spend and if it wasn't on her registry...I spent my hard earned money to celebrate her child. I think people look at showers the wrong way now a days. They are supposed to be a celebration of a new birth and to help out the parents a little. Children are expensive and people should be financially prepared before they take this leap. I understand your husband was laid off...and that is horrible...and I am sorry. But people need to save, prepare and have a back up plan if money gets tight. It isn't like the economy just got bad...this has been going on for years now.
11-17-2009, 12:09 AM
I completely understand. My shower was the same way, and I couldnt even get out to the store because i had complications. I got some stuff, like a boppy, lots of blankets, and a couple other small items, but most were clothes. But i found out that i actually needed a lot of clothes between the pee and spit up. Like others said you could return a few items. It is annoying, but look at it this way-you get to pick out stuff for your kid. I was bummed when people bought whatever they wanted instead of the thing i actually picked out. I was a little mad that i spent hours sifting through the cutest, best stuff and no one bothered to look except my friend and sister. Oh well, things still worked out. Heres some advice for necessities: pampers new baby works nice, cloth diapers that double as burp cloths work well-more for less. I use gerber bottles(cheap-like a dollar a piece!) and playtex drop-ins (liners cost though for playtex) and both are nice. Fisher price lights and sounds monitor is nice-little static but can hear baby great, and can see lights flash(like it when i vacuum). Newborn towels are a waste of money-get small fast. They dont need expensive bedding sets-buy a set of sheets, and you will be swaddling for a while, and using the flannel and plush blankets anyways. Thats all i use, and it works great. The fisher price glider is nice as well. Sorry so long-good luck
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