View Full Version : How can i feel better?
05-14-2008, 11:20 PM
ok i do have to admit i came from a very good line of women in my family, every one that is blood related to me has a very easy time losing the baby weight, for example i was back to my normal weight and fitting into prebaby clothes in 3 months without working out at all!! which i love dont get me wrong but my son is 14 months and for some reason i just hate my body, my hubby says it perfect but i wont get undressed without the lights off or if im in the shower i try to hide as much as possible:o. i have been walking and working out lately to try to tone up but it dont seem to be making me feel any better :( is this just me or is it something all moms go through? and will it ever go away?
Mary Alison Creech, MS
05-15-2008, 08:50 AM
Just know that you are not alone. No one ever said that loving that 'new mom body' would be easy! There are so many factors, not only was your mid-section stretched to the limit, but hormones are still going all different directions and now you have the MAJOR responsibility of caring for a child that you helped to create...that is a lot to digest for sure.
Keep up the exercising, that increases the 'feel good' hormones in your body. And make sure you are doing exercises that you ENJOY...if you're just doing exercises but hating every minute of it, re-assess and see if there are activities you might like more. Doing something with your little one also (like StrollerFit classes www.strollerfit.com or going for a stroll together or even finding a mom and me class) can also help you have fun and really appreciate all that your son has brought to your life. They love to watch you and the learn from your every move...that is so amazing! and that can help you feel super good about yourself and what you are to him. Loving your new mom body comes from inside out (not the outside in!)
I would suggest that you perhaps talk to your doctor too, b/c he/she will be able to help you even further.
The best thing is that you recognize this about yourself, that means you can move forward with doing something about it. Sometimes that first step is the hardest! Good luck, you are on the right path!
05-16-2008, 06:33 AM
Kerisweetpea, I am sorry you are having to deal with these feelings.
In your post, you never said what part of your body you do not like. Is there a specific part? or is it all of it? Although, most women have some droop and sag after they have a baby, generally, once they are able to wear their prepreganancy clothes (as you said you are) the 'disgust' diminsishes and they are able to focus on improving the droop and sag.
I am wondeirng what part of your body is so distressing?
I am asking these questions because I am wodnering if ther is something else going on--like depression or anxiety. I totally agree with Mary Alison that getting those endorphins and 'feel good' hormones pumping while you are with your son will help you immensley!
However, if these thoughts and feeling continue you may want to consider seeing a therapist to see if there may other issues you need to address.
Anytime a woman has a sudeen change of behavior (like you mentioned in your post) and is experiencing negative thoughts about her body (especially in the absence of a reason to feel that way) a lot of red flags wave in my therapist mind.
Again, it is totally normal (unfortunately) for women to have negative feelings about certain parts of their bodies after they have a baby. However, when these feelings begin to interfere with their life AND when they are in the absence of evidence to support them, there may be other issues lurking.
consider visiting with a good friend about your concerns or talking to you ob/gyn, and if these thoguhts continue you may want to find a therapist in your community to help you get out of this slump.
good luck to you!
05-16-2008, 02:08 PM
thank you both for letting me know what you think, it helps me move in a certain direction. i dont think its just one part of my body that i dont like cause like i said i lost all my weight and i did get a bigger bra size afterwards :) and yes my tummy skin is a little loose but i have been working on that, but i just feel gross! and unfortunately i live in a small town that i would have to drive over an hour away to go talk to someone, and our budget cant handle that kind of change :( i will talk to my doctor and see what he thinks, so thank you again and hopefully i can get it figured out..
07-24-2008, 01:04 PM
Although I'm the complete opposite of most women when it comes to baby weight, we still have the same problem: loving your own 'new-mom-body'.
I was incredibly sick during my pregnancy and lost 15lbs in a few weeks, after that I gradually still lost another 5lbs. Only at 6,5 months did I start to gain some weight and at the point of delivery (so including 8.5lbs baby) I finally was at my prepregnancy weight. Ofcourse I immediately dropped another 12-15lbs due to baby, amniotic fluid and placenta.
This might seem like a dream, but I lost everything I was proud of. I used to be really fit, I had a round butt, toned muscles but everything is gone! It's stranuous to walk the stairs, and worse: my ass is flat like a pancake! (not an asset when your husband is an 'ass man') And with the massive amounts of breastmilk my enormous baby requires, I keep loosing weight, and even loosing hair! Maybe when I can find time to do sports again can I build up my body, cause my prepregnancy outfits are really not flattering.
I have started negociations with hubby-man to get time-off, since it is in his best interest aswell ;-) how are thngs going for you now?
07-25-2008, 09:50 PM
ummmm......... things are getting a little better, still not great. but we are going on a just him and me trip to Jamaica so hopefully it will help with it just being us and get some time alone!? I have lost all but 5LBS which i think is good but my stupid belly is still there!!! ARGH! i never used to have stuff hanging off the side of my pants! so i still dont know how to deal with that but im sure i will some day and if not what could i do anyway? so thats whats been going on with me, but Good luck with you hopefully things work out the way you want them too! so Good Luck :)
07-30-2008, 10:22 PM
Well I went through the same. It took my hubbys love and support to end it. I would hide my body from him and he would tell me how beautiful I am that I should be happy with my body because its precious. Thats why I love him so much he reminded me daily that I am beautiful to him so I wouldnt feel uncomfortable.
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