3-night sleep program not working!

[lise1]

My son, who just turned one, will NOT sleep through the night. I have been told by several mothers and my son's doctor that if I want him to sleep through the night, I simply ignore the 3am crying fits for about 3 nights, and then he will break the cycle and sleep through the night. It's been almost two weeks of this! If I do check on him, its only to make sure he isn't soaking wet or feverish. He is just throwing tantrums, mostly. He has his last feeding around 11pm so he shouldn't be hungry! Any suggestions?

[MommaC]

Whoa--is there a reason he's getting a night feeding at 11:00? By age one, kids should be sleeping AT LEAST 10 hours at night (preemies get a break if they need a feeding). Sounds like your sweetheart needs some sleep training. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth is what has worked best for me and for my friends. He gives you two other methods if you can't stand the crying (but the crying it out is what ultimately works the fastest). I am SO sorry for you because it IS so hard to listen to our babies cry, but try to keep in mind that you're not mean...you're helping him learn to sleep...you're doing him a favor. This is an important skill that's best learned early.

When I absolutely couldn't let my baby cry, I'd go through the last part of her sleep routine. I wouldn't change her diaper (unless it was messy), but I'd restart the CD and hold her for a couple minutes then tuck her in. That seemed to remind her why she was there and let her know that it still wasn't time to get up.

[myboysmom]

What time do you start to put him to bed? Usually I do my boys around 8:30, but here the past week or so, it's been 9 or after that they get in bed, because of the weather, or evening activities. But I've noticed that when it is later, about 11:30 or 12m, one of them will wake up for no reason, and be disoriented and upset. But if I put them to bed at normal time/aka, earlier, they tend to sleep much more soundly. I would try putting your 1 year old to bed at 7:30pm or 8pm, if you don't already. It sounds backwards, but the earlier you put them to bed (reasonably) the better and later they will sleep.

[lise1]

I have been putting him to sleep around 7:30. Since he has such sleep problems, I am trying to wean him off the 3am wake up and then the 11pm wake up. Should I do both at the same time? I need that sleep training book!

[MommaC]

You might as well try to wean him off both at the same time. Technically, you could let him cry because he won't starve--his body can handle waiting, it's just his brain that's used to waking up. Try feeding him less and less until he's eating nothing. Keep it dark and be as timely as possible. Do you have a sleep routine? And myboysmom is right--the earlier they go to bed, the better they sleep. We kept moving my daughter's bedtime earlier and earlier by 20 minutes until we hit a time when she started WAKING earlier. Now she goes to bed at 6:30 and doesn't get up until 6:00. You can order "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", or your library may even have it available for check out. Good luck to you!

[lucsmama]

Don't give up...it has taken my 10 month old 3 weeks to sleep through the night without wanting to nurse. Sometimes he still wakes up at 2:30/3 am but he only cries for a minute or two before going back to sleep. I tried all the routines but I think it depends on how strong willed your child is!

[lise1]

Uh oh! If it has to do with how strong willed the child is, I am not going to sleep for years! :)

[ra11en]

At 1 yr, I think breaking the 3am waking would be very difficult to achieve in just 3 days. He shouldn't be eating anything in the middle of the night - that will only serve to continue waking him at the same time every night for food. And at 1yr, he should be eating on the same schedule you eat one; dinner should be at a reasonable hour, with a snack if you feel its needed before bedtime. He needs to be learning proper nutritional habits, which is not eating at 11pm.

A good, consistent bed time routine and into bed at around 7:30 should fit him well. I found with my daughter (very strong willed) that if I went in when she woke up and rocked her, let her nip at a cup/bottle of water, she wouldn't put up so long of a fight when I laid her back down. We started getting her into a schedule for night time food at 4mo, and then getting her to sleep all night without waking by 6mo. I would keep my visit to about 7 minutes when we were getting her through the night, and then when she cried after I laid her back in her crib I would really stand my ground. When I didn't go in to reassure her, she would go on and on. When I did go in to reassure her (rock her a little) she would only last about 3-5 minutes after I put her back in crib before going back to sleep. That routine pretty much just evolved into her sleeping all night.

At 1yr, there is no reason he isn't sleeping through the night unless he is ill. He is physically able to make the long stretch at night, just like you are. Also at this age, he is having more and more dreams and possibly even nightmares. My daughter (19mo) still wakes up at night but only briefly. Sometimes she has nightmares and that is a totally different crying but even then doesn't require us to help her back to sleep.

Good luck!

[lise1]

Thank you to everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it and now know what I need to do to implement better sleeping habits for Charlie. He is great at going to bed at 7pm, but it starts to derail with my feeding him when he wakes at 11. I will break this bad habit of ours before it gets any nuttier! Thanks again!