View Full Version : Keeping baby's name a secret...?
11-04-2009, 12:37 PM
I wanted to get an outsider's opinion on this. My SO and I were so excited about our first child. We had the perfect names picked out before we even got pregnant. The problem came about when we told our parents about the pregnancy, their immediate reaction was to ask about names. We told them and both names were shot down, so harshly that we don't even want to use them now.
We've come up with new names that we absolutely love but now we don't want to tell. Is this being selfish? Should we tell our names again?
11-04-2009, 12:49 PM
Nope, not selfish at all. You are the parent of this child and as the parents it is your right to name said child what ever you like. If you wanted you could call the child Pumpkin, Turkey, Thanksgiving or what ever and no one should say a word about it. When you were born your parents chose your name and you have lived with it. They have had their chance to raise child(ren) as they see fit and now it is your turn. Use this as a lesson in boundaries, they can offer their opinion, but it doesn't mean that you are going to take it.
Sorry, my mom still thinks she has a say in how my boys are raised, and it i a sore subject for me.
11-04-2009, 02:09 PM
Nah, keep it to yourself until it's inked on the birth certificate if they're so insensitively critical. But I rather envy you ... we've known we will have a boy for months now but we still haven't come up with a name we both love.
Hopefully there's not a lot more disagreement in terms of your decision of circumcision (if applicable) birthing plans, breastfeeding vs formula, etc, etc that should also be strictly the decision of you and your partner.
On the other hand my mom has alzheimers and there's probably few things I'd rather have right now than her unwanted and unsolicited advice .. after starting my letter writing campaign though she seems to fully understand finally that she's going to be a grandmother soon (I'm an only child, and this is my first and probably only child as well) ..
11-04-2009, 03:38 PM
I have 2 sets of friends who had babies right around the same time. Neither knew the gender, but my friend Marnie and her husband kept the name a secret and my friend Jess told EVERYONE who asked the boy and girl name (Michael or Gia). When people heard Michael, they'd say "oh, too common" or for Gia, it was "isn't that a nickname for something else?" Jess really didn't care but I think in her 9th month it started to wear on her a bit.
I think it's perfectly fine to keep the name a secret. It's your kid, it's up to you to name him/her. If you wanted advice, you'd ask for it. If you aren't comfortable telling people that you have decided upon names but don't want to share, jsut go ahead and say that you and SO haven't made a decision as yet. And like someone said, once it's on the Birth Certificate, that's it! You are the one that is going to say the name over and over and over again daily for the next several decades - pick the one you like best :D
Best of luck to you!
01-21-2010, 11:42 AM
definitely keep them to yourself!
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