Baby Mama Drama

[taylor20]

I have a question for either mom's or dad's, I have what would be called blended family. My child's father has a 6 year old son that he only gets to see when the mother feels like it. The 2 of us have been together for 6 years and friends over 12 years; we also now have our own 2 month old. The son's mother recently has tried to make every effort to reinvolve the dad in her household and now allowing him to be a dad. This weekend is the son's birthday in which they do seem to be able to get along long enough to plan this event each year but yesterday he asked me if I had a problem with him going to Dave and Busters with the mother and her kids. I was almost instantly angered. My thoughts are why all of a sudden now that she is alone and our baby is here she is coming up with plans to have him involved. I can see the father wanting to spend the missed time with his son but I don't approve of it being a "family outing" not including me and my baby. Am I wrong?

[Lindsey73]

I think that you need to take a step back for a minute. Yes, maybe the mother has something up her sleeve, but right now all your husband wants to do is spend time with his son. I think you should let him go. It really doesnt involve you because its not your child. And im sure you trust your husband. He's going so he can have a good time with his son, not to hang out with the mother. Its about their relationship. And imagine how excited the son will feel and what it will mean to him. I really wouldnt worry about the mother or her intentions at this point. Its only for one day. And remember that your husband isnt trying to disclude you from anything, but its his situation and he needs to deal with it.

[dcroberts]

Okay, WAY different opinion here! You and your child should be included in your husband's son's birthday celebrations. The ex-wife needs to grow up and accept that you are a part of the picture now. If she can not do that gracefully, by including you in such events- then your husband needs to utilize the court system and fight for more equal rights in the upbringing of this child. This boy has two parents who should be contributing in his upbringing, not one who is dictating to the other. Encourage your fellow to act like a man and fight for his son, and then you can be the best step mommy ever and be sure to include his mother in every event you host in his honor.

[divaprincess]

i can feel u missy i am going through the similar type of BABY MAMA DRAMA myself!..i am the babymama who is not with the father and yet spend more time with his step kids.....i wouldnt be mad about him going to d&b with girly and her crew because it's his sons day and he just wanted it to be speacial and thats always commendable. u have him all to ur self 98.9% of the time and to top it off u also have a baby u both share think of things if they were on the other foot too!..if it were u would u want her and her kids who arent a ture sibling attending ur child 's party?...be real?....trust ur man to be a man and a good dad unless he gives u reason not to! and remember ur child is a true sibling and maybe spend time with her half brother maybe ur man wants to clear the air with the bm to make it possible for him to get his kids together from tme to time!...keep faith and be supportive of the kind thoughtful father who is still just trying to be a real dad...a true sign of a good heart and values u should encourage as his women! good luck god bless!

[mommy42boys]

His son is a big brother and I would hope that his little sibling would get to be at the celebration. And you are his step-mother, you should be included too. I wouldn't push it because he is just now starting to get re-involved with his son so give it some time. In the end, you should be a part of his life because you are his step-mother and he is a big brother.

[lou]

His son is a big brother and I would hope that his little sibling would get to be at the celebration. And you are his step-mother, you should be included too. I wouldn't push it because he is just now starting to get re-involved with his son so give it some time. In the end, you should be a part of his life because you are his step-mother and he is a big brother.


I agree completely! I'm a stepmother to two awesome boys and a mother to my own wonderful son 14 months now. my husband and I have seperate events from their mother for them though. they get a birthday, etc with their mom and one with us. if the mother isn't willing to include you and your son in the festivities then have your own. I would be upset by that as well. not because I'd be worried about what the ex had up her sleeve or anything like that, but because I love my stepsons and want to be a big part of their lives and for them to feel like they are a big part of my life and the life of their baby brother who they adore! I plan our special events like my son's first BD around their visitation schedule so they are included also.
my other thought on this is taht it sounds like this isn't a new thing, that they've done his bd like this the whole time? if so I wouldn't want to change that. it would hurt the child and make him resent you. his dad has been all the years before you and his brother came along, why not this year? also whether or not you like it the three of them are family. just because this boys mom and dad aren't together doesn't make them any less of a family unit.
yes I do think you ought to be included as you are now part of that family but if the two of you can't be civil to eachother or if there's tension between you then you probably shouldn't be there as the boy will realize it and it's supposed to be a happy day for him. maybe you should talk to the boys mom and let her know taht you have her son's best interest in mind and taht you love him as well and would like to be there for his bd and want him to feel included in your family and would like for the two of you to get along for his sake. if you can't do taht maybe it would be better for dad to go and tell him happy bd and then later for you to have one for him too. it will let him know you think he's special.


as far as the father being involved, what's the visitation like? if you have scheduled visitation she can't keep the boy from you. that's visitation interference and she can be arrested.

[Klingon]

if your husband felt that he cannot live anymore with her ex they separated .now whats the logic behind increaseing the relation between them.
he might have thought this before he married you.
in this way you might be feeling a kind of left out.