View Full Version : The Paci
05-08-2008, 10:34 PM
Im a first time mom of a beautiful little girl whos going on three. I try to follow everything by the book. She only had the pacifier when she was teething and then I took it away. My sister is a mom of two boys. The oldest is nine and she has one going on two. My nephew who is going on two is still on the pacifier. I always take it away from him when I'm around and she gets mad. I just noticed that his teeth are starting to grow outward. I don't feel right telling her anything because I'm only a mom of one. But, I don't like seeing him with it. How can I tell her and not offend her?
05-09-2008, 10:13 AM
You can't. If she is getting mad at you for just taking it out when you're around, then you can't tell her without her being offended. The paci and when to take it away is as personal to a mom as BF over formula. It is a choice she needs to make on her own.
You can kindly mention the drawbacks of him still being on the paci next time you're around, but she will probably get upset and that's about all you can do honestly. And in the grand scheme, him still using the paci at his age isn't that over the top. They suggest you take it away at 12 mo, but I know lots of kiddos that are still on it at the 2yr bday. I took my daughters away at 12mo, but that was my choice. Other moms make other choices.
05-09-2008, 10:59 AM
My mom started to kind of take my daughters nuk away around 1 and I wasn't really offended if she was watching her and didn't want her to have a nuk fine by me. At 18 months we took it away. She is almost 3 and has her nuk only at night,and naps it does not leave her room. However yesterday I finally took it away for good. It actually wasn't that bad a bit of crying. Well now I am faced with the thumb, she realized she can suck on her thumb, I try to push her hand away whenever I see it go up, but unfortunatly you can't take a thumb away. Well I have to admit if I see a kid around 2 with a nuk in public it does make me wonder, but I am a bit of a hipacrit because I just took my daughters away.
05-09-2008, 12:12 PM
I am pregnant with my first child, but my sister, Ashley, is a mother of two. Her oldest is 2 1/2 and is still on it. I hate to see her with it. Ashley uses it simply to get her daughter to calm down, which I understand that she wants peace, but I hate to see that thing in her mouth. Lacey (her daughter) can speak clearly through it, which is a major sign that she does NOT need it. Whenever I am around her, I take it from her, and she is just fine without it. But as soon as I walk away, it is right back into her mouth, thanks to mom. I have tried to tell her enough is enough, but she won't take it from her. I have vowed that I will not give my son one of those things, with all of the things that you have to ween babies from, why add that to the list?
05-09-2008, 12:25 PM
Whatchu mean one of those things??? Those are used to calm down ur kid. if u dont have one all it will do is fuss and you dont even have ur kid yet..so how could u no? havin' neices and nephs dont count as ur onw.
05-09-2008, 02:16 PM
I have 2 and my daughter was very much into the nuk it was a nice way of calming herself, a security. If its not the nuk they will put there security on something eles. My son however wanted nothing to do with a nuk, but he has a security with pillows, and there is no way I am going to carry a pillow with me everywhere I go, he only likes the big ones. So unfortunatly it is a bit more crying, I have gotten used to it. I do think if you are dead set on not giving your child a nuk thats fine and thats your decision, but there is a long list of things that you will have to ween them from so really what is one more. You still might want to know your childs temperment before you jump to a permanant answer. For my daughter to take a nuk was actually a good thing, it helped her to develop her sucking motions because she had a hard time nursing, also it was a way of seeing her breath when she was sleeping. For my son he had pnemonia and him taking a nuk would have been nice to help with clearing the breathing pattern. But we managed you just have to poke them every now and them to see them stir. (lol)
05-09-2008, 03:09 PM
Not all babies will take a paci - and it really is up to the baby. I had planned no paci at all for our daughter, but she decided different. A friend of mine wanted her son to take it but he never would no matter what she tried. All babies are different.
06-14-2008, 01:33 AM
All of my children had a pappy. I weaned them off of it around 18 months old. The studies show now that a pappy can help to reduce the risk of SIDS.So it is totally up to what your child likes and if you want them to have it.
06-14-2008, 09:50 PM
If you must say something (which I would!), I would advise you to ask a question. Ask her what her magical paci plan is. Ask at what age she thinks kids should be done with them. Ask if anyone (or her pediatrician) has ever lectured her about it. Whatever question seems most appropriate. As a group, we moms tend to be a bit defensive...especially if we feel someone is passing judgment on or disagreeing with our parenting choices. Is it your place? Maybe not. Are you wrong? No. In the world of speech-pathology, we recommend ditching pacifiers and bottles around 12 months and sippy cups at age 2. (And I think most dentists would agree!)
06-16-2008, 09:54 PM
I think that MommaC's advice to start the converstation with a question is a great idea- get her thinking about it without just lecturing her. The decision about a pacifier is up to the parents and child, but I would definately note your concern that you're noticing his teeth grow outward. I've worked in daycare, and we definately used our rules with pacifiers. It wasn't really an issue, then again, we weren't related to the parents and the kids generally understood the different rules between home and daycare. My point is, I'd feel free to take it if he's in your care, but if mom's around, it really is up to her.
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