Tricked Into Pregnancy??

[addys_mum]

So, my daughter is two. And about two years ago me and my bf were having problems, I was only 16 and he was 18. I wanted to have a baby and make it all better, so i stopped with the BC pills and didn't tell him. I knew that he would not agree to doing this so young. So, three months later...Honey, I haven't had my period. We got a test and CHA-CHING. I'm preggo. My friends have been insisting that I tell him now, how do you think he'll react? I mean, he is a great dad, and i think i did him a big favor by makin' him grow up and love someone besides himself. I don't think it was "TRICKING INTO PREGNANCY" as my bff calls it, so will he be happy that I sacrificed my teenage youth to make us stay together?

[jenn_0629]

I am due on June 30, and I too am a teen mother. It's a really tough situation, I think that if I my partner was trying to impregnate me without my knowledge, I would not be able to trust him, ever again. That is a life altering decision that should be made together and not a manipulation by one partner. I am 17 and my husband is 19, so we are pretty close in age and even though we are both estatic about our son, we both know that it would have been easier if this would have come later in life. Neither of us had tried to conceive, it was just a surprise. So we are going through this together, and taking it step by step, I think that your boyfriend has the right to know, but I wouldn't expect him to be very understanding of the situation.

[kfiedler]

I agree with jenn, sorry but you tricked him and he has a right to know. But really I would expect him to be VERY upset. I am very floored over the situation just wondering 16 isn't that a bit young to plan a pregnancy?

[ra11en]

Yikes, sticky situation. I believe you absolutely tricked him into pregnancy if you knew he didn't want to get your pregnant, and you stopped the BC without his explicit permission. You knew he wouldn't have agreed to it, yet you felt you knew better than he did so you took it upon yourself to decide. That's pretty shady. :(

I'm sorry to say that while he may be a great father, and he may have really stepped up to the plate, you really did rob him and yourself of so many years of fun and exploration. My husband and I were together for 10 years before we had a child - and it didn't happen until we BOTH agreed to it. You missed out on so much, but that is your choice and I bet you are a terrific mom. However, you got to make that choice for yourself and you took that choice from him. I would expect that there is going to be some major trust issues when / if you tell him what you did. Wow.

Future advice: having a baby never makes 'it' better, and that is an awful lot of pressure to put on a tiny baby. The only two that can make that relationship better is you and him.

[JWills]

Ra11en nailed it on the head.

I too, am a young, soon-to-be-mommy. While I certainly didnt plan on having kids THIS young, my boyfriend and I decided that our "whoops" is our own doing, and will will find a way to deal with whatever comes. We are definatley not ready financially, but I am taking it one day at a time, and working 11 hour days to save up as much money as possible.

I agree with Ra11en, and I cant think of anything to add because she said everything I would have. You need to have a chat with him, and soon! Fessing up would be the best thing.

[ra11en]

JWills: If it makes you feel any better, you're never ready financially. Young, old, doesn't matter. :) Somehow you just find a way to make ends meet, and once you have a baby (or more) you never seem to have more than just enough (if that). Good luck!