SAHM and babysitter?

[Mommy2Beans]

Hi, I'm new here and I have a pretty random question.. First a little about my problem. I'm a SAHM of a baby girl and I want to hire a babysitter. That doesn't seem like much of a problem to me...but my dh doesn't feel like we need to "hire" anyone. "It's not like we don't have enough friends and family to do it". My family is out of town, his is in town but only available on their terms. I would like to have someone I can call and pre-arrange days with, someone who will come to OUR house and actually play with her instead of sticking her infront of the tv (she's only 8 months old!!) So I guess my question is how many SAHM's have babysitters and was it a struggle with your dh?

Sorry that was so long!

[Kerisweetpea]

well first welcome. im a sahm too i have a 14month old boy, just like you my fam lives out of town and my hubbys lives really close! but i dont let anyone watch my son unless its family or really close friends! there are just to many bad things happening to babies when they have babysitters, i dont know where you live but i know where i live i dont trust anyone around here! i have the same issue that his fam will only watch him if we take him to there house and only if they dont have anything to do! (which my mil dont work) so i just choose to not to have a babysitter, i feel much better with fam. but thats just me.....

[ra11en]

I'm not a SAHM but I too have the same problem with my DH about hiring a babysitter. His mom lives relatively close and my entire family lives out of state, so he feels his mom should be our only babysitter. His mom is almost always willing to watch her, but she has a life too. So we've compromised on it - our neighbor has a 16yr daughter that is very bright and responsible, so we pay her to come over after our daughter is already in bed (7:30p) and hang out while we go have dinner or a movie or whatever. I've also paid her to come play with our daughter while I'm there, just to give my daughter a playmate so I can get things done. Usually that only happens when we have a big event coming up at the house or something that requires more than just the day to day stuff. My DH was a little snipey about it at first, but he's warmed up to it and actually suggests having her come over once in a while so we can go out and be grown ups.

Isn't everything a struggle with husbands at first? :)

[twiceblessed]

I'm a SAHM as well without a babysitter. At times it would be nice to have one especially when I need to run errands that I don't want to carry the girls or I can't carry them (doctors appointments etc)or we want some "alone" time. Our families live close, but dh's mom works long hours and his dad isn't in the best of health, my sister works and so does my mom, so having them babysit is difficult. They are more than willing to do it but I don't think it's fair to ask them when they do so much already. I think that if you can afford it and you can get your hubby to understand why you want an "on-call" person it's a great idea. Maybe if you bring it up under the possible situation that say something happens to a family member (they get hurt or whatever) then you would have someone you trust who you can call to come watch the baby. It's not a luxury to have someone else available if you need/want them, it's a backup plan. Maybe putting it that way would help him see where you are coming from.
To answer your other question, my hubby and I have talked about it too, and the only reasons we haven't done it is financial and it's really hard for me to trust anyone outside of family with my girls. Good luck.

[Mommy2Beans]

Thanks so much for the feedback! We have discussed it more and dh is a little more open to the idea. I brought up the point of having someone just come over to hang out with her while we clean the house or go for a walk together. He thought that would be ok since we would still be nearby. We are having a college student come by this weekend to talk to us about doing some very p/t sitting, so we'll see how it goes!!

[northernva.mommy]

I am also a SAHM and have family close by. Sometimes I feel like it is actually easier to find a sitter than use my family though. I think you just need to find someone you can trust with your kids or try someone as a mother’s helper first. That way you can still be in the house with them and get things done and it is usually less expensive since you are still around.
Good Luck!

[SpinMom]

Wow, I'm so glad I read this thread. I'm not a SAHM (more power to you if you are, don't see how you do it)... I work two part time jobs. Grandmas alternate babysitting while dh and I are at work... ONLY when we are obligated by jobs. No daycare or babysitter (at least not yet). Heaven forbid we should ask for a date night. They can and do say no when they have other plans

[SpinMom]

Oops, not finished with my post...
Grandmas can and do say no when they have other plans or don't want to babysit. I felt guilty for wanting time to myself... after all, I just can't take off for an afternoon. I have to make arrangements if I want or need time for anything (ie, doctor's appointment, errands, etc). I don't get "time off" unless I'm taking someone else's "time off" away from them. And I'm the mom, so I don't get to do that.

Thanks for the thread. It helped!