bully for a neighbor

[lolarobbie]

My son is almost seven and our neighbor is 5. They play constantly and I am friends with his mom. However, the 5yr old has a hand and mouth problem and constantly is fighting with my son.. Well, after so many,"Dont use hands.." we have now told our son to fight back. So now he fights back. However, I really dont like the idea of fighting at all. How do I get the mom, who refuses to to admit that her chldren do do things wrong, understand that their child likes to fight and i dont want him to fight with my son anymore. I know it is easy to say dont let him play with him anymore, but thats really hard considering we live right next door to eachother and sometimes they are the only ones available to play...

[big-mouth-burgher]

My rule with my boys is this: If some one is being mean to you or hurting you, tell them you don't like it and you are going home or they have to go home (depending on who's yard they're in). It has worked in my neighborhood. It teaches the bully that nobody wants to play with him if he is being nasty and it teaches your kids to stand up for themselves without resourting to violence.

[Jemma2]

We are dealing with this same exact thing right now and have just told our daughter to hit him back if he hits her. I don't like the idea of that either, but our kids have to be able to defend themselves. I've also told the neighbor kids to go home and that we are done playing today. It feels like my kids get punished by not getting to play then, but at the same time I can't sit out there and watched my kids getting treated in a mean way. At one point or another is not about teaching the other kid manners, it's about protecting my kid from being bullied.

[kare.bear]

I agree with Big-Mouth-Burger...If hitting takes place, tell the boy he has to go home now and can't play because he misbehaved. If he really wants to play with your son, he'll realize he can't hit. As a bonus, if his mom asks why he's not playing, he has to say he was sent home for being naughty.

[timmy96815]

My neighbor's kid does this and he has to go home as soon as he misbehaves. It took me about 3 times for him to come over to realize that this works.

Good luck