Help with child "exploring herself"

[momto32009]

I have a 4 year old girl that has for the past year been playing with herself. I dont know where she is learning it from but we have told her its a yucky spot and not to play with her yucky spot. We have even swatted her hands but she still does it. She is even showing other people like cousins herself and we told her not to do it but she still does. I dont know what to do. I dont want her to keep on doing it in school and have welfare or someone get her. Can anyone help me?

[racerfamily4@yahoo.com]

That is totally normal behavior. Based on personal expierence, I would not tell her its "yucky". By saying that to her, you are telling her that a part of her body is yucky and I dont think you want her to think she is yucky. Girls are so self conscious, especially as they get older. You are creating a problem by saying that and it will catch up with you. That makes me so sad. She is just a little girl, she does not know any better. Kids touch what feels good. You should tell her what is appropriot and what is not appropriot. For example, we dont play with our special spot in public. Its not that she is "playing" with herself in that way. She is doing what feels nice and its your job to tell her when and where that is approptiot, not degrade her. I promise you, if you keep that up, when she gets older, she will go into a depression, start using drugs and alchole and be pregnant by 15. I am not judging you or your parenting, however this does make me very sad for your daughter.

[Jessinator1982]

One of my neighbor's kids does this. She even refuses to wear pants for the convenience factor of dresses. They went to the pediatrician and he told them just to redirect where she does it but not to shame her about it. When she goes to touch herself just tell her that is private and she needs to do it in her bedroom. When they are that little, it just feels nice and isn't necessarily a sexual thing. Usually with my neighbor's kid, she goes in her room and it turns into a nap. Little boys play with themselves alot too. It's no big deal.

[kbuckner2]

I would say that you shouldnt smack her hands and tell her its a yucky spot. She is exploring. Try telling her that you know its interesting but that when she feels like she needs to do that she needs to do it in private. Make sure she also knows what it is actually for too. Telling her it is a yucky spot can confuse her later on.

[Fawkes17]

I would teach her it's a private part. Not something to play with, and not to show others. I wouldn't swat her hands. Find something better for her to do, that will keep those hands busy.
I don't see how telling her it's okay to do it at home but not in public is the right thing. How confusing is that? No not here, but in your room go for it. I'd be like what's the difference? Isn't it better to teach not doing it at all. I know people are for it's okay, and natural. Kids do play with themselves, but you can teach them it's not to play with. What if they do that to other children?

[harpersmama]

It is completely natural for a child to be interested in all of their body parts. And I agree with everybody but Fawkes17, you should teach her that it is something to do in private and not with anybody else. That way you're not teaching her that it's something dirty, because it's not, (at this age it has nothing to do with sex) but you are stopping her from doing it in public.

[karabearblu]

As long as it is taught that it is to be done in private and not where other people can see, it's a totally normal thing. My daughter is only 23 months ( will be 2 next week ), but she has started digging in when we change her diaper and started calling it her "cha cha." I think she's too little to understand that it should be done in private, but we've been trying to teach her. As the others have said, I wouldn't teach her that it's a nasty, dirty thing to do because I doubt this will really prevent her from doing it in public. Just teach her that it's private.